Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Jun. 12th, 2017 05:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lindaluposHalfway through! Although not really since the books grow crazily in size. I think page-wise I'm only a third through the series by now. Kinda crazy.
GoF is a book of firsts for me. I first read it in 2000, the same summer I read PS, CoS and PoA. Back then, the book had been released in English that summer but not yet in Dutch. I actually borrowed it off my recorder teacher (I used to play recorder for something like 12 years :p) because she was a Potterfan too and she had the book in English. It also made GoF the 100+ page book I read originally in English and out of my own free will (= not because I had to because of school)! My poor brother had to wait until something like November, when the Dutch version was released. It was also the first time I went to a midnight release. Not in my own hometown, but a bookstore in a city a few kilometers away did a midnight release for the Dutch edition, so my mom and dad and me set out for that. There were like 30 people in total. I remember a few cops dropping by because they weren't sure the bookstore had asked permission to stay open that late; they convinced the cops that we had all came there by invitation! They had wizard-themed candy and 'potions' (actually lemonade in crazy colors) and to open the doors we had to shout 'Dreuzel!' (Muggle) at the count of three! I think I did read the Dutch GoF, too, but that was the last one I read completely in Dutch.
Anyway, this was a fun one to reread. PS introduced us to Harry and his world, CoS offered some more history of Hogwarts and Voldemort, PoA introduced some more outside-of-Hogwarts elements but it was still pretty school-centered. GoF is the one that really opens up the wider wizarding world to us, starting with the Quidditch World Cup, the two other wizarding schools, and of course the realisation that the wizarding world itself is pretty fucked up politically, which we will learn much more about in OotP.
Of course it's also the one where Voldemort comes back. The ending scene is still pretty chilling - we're definitely not in children's book territory anymore. That also shines through in the writing. PoA was already a bit more sophisticated than the previous ones, but GoF also uses more... not exactly adult language (heh) but it definitely doesn't talk down to children.
And then the Three-Year Summer... I discussed the series with a couple of friends the other day, as I was rereading OotP, and of course we ended up talking about the Three Year Summer. One of them said that he felt that GoF was, from a fan perspective, the hardest point to have that 3-year gap. Voldemort had just come back, Dumbledore was gathering the troops, but we had no idea what was going to happen. I have to say, I feel the exact opposite. The ending of GoF was the perfect place to have a longer waiting time (in hindsight it's only one year longer than the waits between the final two books, but somehow it feels much longer!). It offered so much opportunity for speculation and, yes, filling in the gaps with fanfiction. It was a very fertile breeding ground for all kinds of theories and shenanigans. It helped, of course, that Harry Potter came up just when the internet did, so they got to more or less grow together. But I think the fact that we ended there also helped a lot. Fandom blossomed during those three years, and I absolutely loved it.
I sincerely credit the Potter fandom with my level of English speaking and writing. I mentioned GoF was the first book I read in English; it was also inadvertently how I ended up scoring a 9.2 out of 10 on my final exam, whereas I had only scored 3 out of 10 a few years before. In 2001, I regularly spend my time in the school library, not just because I was a Ravenclaw but also because I was excused gym classes and I had nothing better to do. :p I would always read the newspaper there (to the point where the librarian would just hand me it when I walked in). One day I read an article about Warner Brothers squashing down on Harry Potter websites, and one British girl named Claire fighting back to be allowed to maintain her fansite harrypotterguide.co.uk It intrigued me, so I paid it a visit (thanks, Warner Brothers!). It turned out they had a discussion board, and I couldn't resist. I made up a user name consisting of my read first name and the last name of my favourite HP character, but in Dutch because I myself was Dutch. Linda Lupos was born.
The Boy Who Lived, or TBWL, as the forum was known, became my home online. I met people online whom I've never met in real life but who are still my friends (the people I mentioned earlier? I met them on TBWL). I started writing fanfiction there (horrid, horrid fanfic at first), basically ran an Alan Rickman fanclub with another girl, and of course argued and debated and theorised about the books. At one point I came very close to considering Snape my favourite character over Remus, just because he was such an endless course of fascinating debate (I know, it was a momentary weakness :p) All in English, so I improved rapidy, to the point where I ended up comparing Pride & Prejudice and Sense & Sensibily for English class for fun, and my final oral exam was just ten minutes of me and one of my friends gabbing about nothing in particular all in fluent English. (Yes my teacher loved me.)
I also grew a lot personally. The 3 year summer overlapped with my final year of highschool and my first year of college, so that perfect stretch of time where you're almost an adult but also still safely at home, experimenting with becoming independent but also having something to fall back on with few 'real' responsibilities. A great time to get lost in a make-believe world with wizards and werewolves, and to meet many likeminded people to discuss these kinds of things with. Plus, like I mentioned, the internet grew with the HP fandom, so it was still a 'smallish' playground with a handful of main sites where you would find stuff. This was before Google, Youtube, Facebook, Twitter... I think I used a search engine called Altavista to find stuff? And of course I saw The Leaky Cauldron and Mugglenet arrive on the playground (I always felt a bit like they were interlopers since TBWL was there first and TLC and MN had never been threatened by Warner Brothers!), fanfiction.net became huge through HP (I enjoyed making fun of the worst of the worst on the Godawful Fanfiction board). Because I more or less stepped in early, my digital skills also grew naturally, and I pretty much inadvertendly learned the basics of using social media, HTML, etc. When I first read HP I didn't even know how to e-mail people; by the end, I reguarly chatted with all kinds of people from all over the world. :p But that was also a societal development; when I started highschool, we had computer classes where we were taught how to save stuff on a diskette, how to use Microsoft Word and everything; when the final book came out, the first iPhone had come out slightly less than a month before (june 29, 2007), revolutionising the way we would use tech. When I first went to the UK I had a photocamera that worked with film that had to be developed, and if I wanted to reach my parents I had to use a pay phone - the rest of the time, I was basically out of reach. Now, I have a tiny machine the size of my hand that is my camera, music player, calendar, e-mail reader, and oh right it can also make phone calls. It's bizarre. BUT because I pretty much grew up with the tech but was also at the age where I had to conciously learn stuff, I have a pretty good understanding of how the internet works. Which actually translated into a job skill: a couple of years back I developed and taught a social media course, which eventually helped me land my current job in local government, explaining social media and computers to middle aged government workers. So, I guess I have fandom to thank for that too. :p
So yeah, it was a pretty great time. And it was great to see how well the book holds up after all so long. There are some great moments of humor, some really nice foreshadowing (the Room of Requirement! I remember endless debates after Jo dropped in an interview that if she were to visit Hogwarts, she would go to a certain room mentioned in passing in GoF), and of course that chilling return of Voldemort. But what mostly struck me this time around, as I read this in 2017, with the current political situation being what it is, is that it ended on hope. I mentioned in my PoA recap that the terrible thing about that ending was that there was no victory there - Sirius got away but he'd be dead in two years, and lots of other people didn't have all that much longer to live. GoF, on the other hand, and somewhat ironically given Cedric's fate, ends on a more hopeful note. It tells us that, yeah, a superevil guy came back, a war broke out, and things are going to suck for the coming who-knows-how-long, but we can cope. If we're good and decent people, like Cedric, and we'll stick together, we will get through this. Compare that to the end of OotP - Sirius dead, Harry with some SERIOUS PTSD holy crap (well, not just Harry) - or HBP - Dumbledore killed by Snape wtf, and Harry taking on some probably-impossible quest. Compared to that, GoF is much, much more hopeful. GoF's optimism is especially poignant considering 9/11 happened during the Three-Year Summer. 'What's comin' will come, an' we'll meet it when it does.' What better sentiment to end a book on and spend three years with?
Alright, enough blathering. Onto the recap! Warning: this is STUPIDLY long because the book is stupidly long and I was still stuck in the "comment on every sentence!! mode. My OotP one should be.... slightly less lengthy. :p
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
It’s so much bigger! OMG. 636 pages. Heh, there’s a pricetag in the back – I bought it in a second-hand bookstore for 14,50 euro (back when I first started to collect them all in hardback, I didn't have that much spending money, so I was very happy to find one in a second-hand bookstore!).
There are still some kids’ reviews and letters but also ‘grown-up’ ones. Interesting that neither the back blurb nor the dustcover mention the Triwizard Tournament.
3 other books available, copyright 2000. Dedicated to Peter Rowling – brother? Dad?
1 – The Riddle House
First time no Harry in the first chapter!
This is soooo British. A little village with a manor nearby, and a murder! “In the next episode of Midsomer Murders…”
“The whole of Little Hangleton had seethed with shocked curiosity and ill-disguised excitement.” Love it.
I bet a lot of people thought this Tom Riddle was Chamber of Secrets’ Tom.
“Frank had come back from the war with a very stiff leg and a great dislike of crowds and loud noises.” PTSD? And of course the villagers immediately suspect him. Sigh.
“The Riddles all appeared to be in perfect health – apart from the fact that they were all dead.”
Wait a minute, who actually owns the house now? Some American (shades of Remains of the Day). Wait till he finds out some Dark Wizard camped out in his house for a while.
This must be so weird to kids expecting a boy wizard. “Who is this ancient gardener and why should I care?”
What are mullioned windows? Ah.
Ugh Peter, die. (It’s august, 2 weeks after PoA)
Love Frank’s “Well obviously Muggle and Quidditch and Ministry of Magic are codewords”
Peter really doesn’t want to use Harry – of course, he has a life debt to him now (wasn’t that also what killed him in TDH?).
“Bertha Jorkins’ disappearance will not go unnoticed.”
“By that time, my FAITHFUL servant will have rejoined us.”
Peter has neither brains nor loyalty, ouch.
“I will allow you to perform an essential task for me, one that many of my followers will give their right hand to perform.” Sigh.
Oh right, Bertha had a memory spell on her, courtesy of the Crouches.
Poor Frank. Babymort was the last thing he saw. :(
“A flash of green light, a rushing sound.” Dundundunn.
2 – The Scar
Harry’s Horcrux senses are tingling. Interesting, the first connection between them, 200 miles apart.
Nice subtle infodropping/recapping in the narrative as Harry worries.
“Voldemort, the most powerful Dark Wizard for a century.” Suck on that, Grindelwald.
“His powers gone, his life almost extinguished, Lord Voldemort had fled.” How, actually? In ghost-form?
“Still a forthnight to go” until the start of the next school year, so it’s half august now.
Hee, where DOES Dumbledore go during the summer? To Aberforth’s? Maybe he and Snape take cruises (although maybe not this summer as I bet Snape is still salty from last school year).
“Dear Professor Dumbledore, sorry to bother you but my scar hurt this morning. Yours sincerely, Harry Potter”.
“What he really wanted was someone like – someone like a PARENT.” Awww.
“For one glorious hour, Harry had believed he was leaving the Dursleys at last. … but the chance had been snatched away from him – Wormtail had escaped.” “It was doubly hard to return to the Dursleys knowing that he had so nearly escaped them forever.” WELL IF SOMEONE HADN’T BEEN AN IDIOT…
Sirius in the tropics, yay.
“Mega Mutilations Part 3” Uh sure that totally sounds like a legitimate videogame title.
“Do you know if curse scars sometimes hurt years afterwards?” Sirius is absolutely an authority on that, yeah…
Harry’s again omitting information so as not to look ‘weak’. Little Gryffindor.
3 – The Invitation
Of course Vernon reads the Daily Mail. And in case we forgot: Dudley is fat.
Wait, people have been sending Harry cakes – wouldn’t they go stale really fast? Also how does SIRIUS send a cake? (“Remus, be a dear…”)
Hee, Harry wants to say “so what?” but settles for looking “politely puzzled”.
So the Weasleys get tickets on SATURDAY for a match on MONDAY. That’s cutting things really close.
Aw, Molly and the stamps.
“Allowing Harry to go would make Harry happy, something Uncle Vernon had struggled against for thirteen years.” HARRY IS JUST A KID, JESUS.
Heh Sirius serving as the boogieman.
Yay he’s going to the Quidditch World Cup!
Gosh, Pigwidgeon is so cute. Lol tho: “Harry started at the word ‘Pig’, then looked up at the tiny owl now zooming around the lampshade on the ceiling. He had never seen anything that looked less like a pig. Maybe he couldn’t read Ron’s writing.”
Oh right, Percy works for the MoM now.
Yay happy Harry. Enjoy it while it lasts…
4 – Back to the Burrow
Ooo, this is the first time Petunia is meeting wizards again since her sister (ok and Hagrid but he didn’t really count back then).
Floo powder to a boarded-up fireplace! This whole scene is hilarious really.
“They’ve got an electric fire.”
“Really? Ecklectic, you say? With a plug?”
Surely they didn’t need to EXPLODE the damn thing…
First mention of Disapparition?
Aw, Arthur and his plug collection. And he’s shaming the Dursleys into being nice to Harry! Go Arthur!
Oh right, the magic candy. Haha..?
5 – Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes
Bill and Charlie! I forgot they were here!
Bill is “surprisingly cool”, heh. He works with curses, of course he’s cool. (In a 90s way.)
Yeah lol Dudley nearly died, very funny… Are wizard psycho? Also Arthur is more upset about ruined wizard-muggle relationships.
Hi Hermione. Her teeth are mentioned again for the first time since… PS?
Percy, if the noise bothers you, just move out. Also, standardizing cauldron thicknesses? Depressingly plausible. (I work in local government now, and… yeah)
“Ron’s old rat, Scabbers, was here no more.” Gosh, really.
So the children don’t have their own rooms. Who shared before when Charlie and Bill lived here? Ron and Ginny as the two youngest? Percy and Ron? I bet Ron shared because he’s the unfavorite.
Percy and Mr Crouch. “They’ll be announcing their engagement any day now.” Actually how does the wizarding world treat LGBT people? Do they have legal gay marriage or are they like “whatever floats your boat.”
Molly: “I don’t know what’s going to happen to [the twins], I really don’t.” Let’s… not tell her just yet.
Aw, the gnomes again. They’re kind of cute.
Ludo Bagman is mentioned (Ludo for someone in charge of games!).
Oi Percy stop badmouthing Bertha.
“We’ve got another big event to organize right after the world cup.” O RLY.
Of course Mrs Weasley disapproves of long hair and earrings.
… I plain forgot about Harry’s scar hurting, and that was only two chapters ago. At least Harry did, too!
Of course the twin send Percy dragon dung. Honestly I don’t entirely blame him for cutting contact with his family for a while. They’re kind of… annoying?
6 – The Portkey. Remember that word, kids.
Oh boy, Arthur dressing ‘muggle’.
“Why can’t we Apparate too?” Did the twins even LEARN yet? (No; the twins will this year.) Oh nice infodump on it. Splinching, ouch. Actually, did any of the Trio take any test? I plain forgot.
The whole organization of the Cup sounds fascinating and I want to know more about it.
Portkeys get explained, a few 100 pages before the 3th task.
Yay Amos and Cedric. Oooh Amos works for the Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures!
“Ced, that’s something to tell your grandchildren, that will. You beat Harry Potter!” Sob.
Aw, Cedric is so genuinely nice.
Lovegoods mention! They’ve been at the Cup a week already.
Man, I would HATE traveling by Portkey.
7 – Bagman and Crouch
Aw, the Muggle campsite owner.
Wizard tents with chimneys and weather-vanes! Hee, the sign says “Weezly”. Also I want a wizard tent. The tent is my least favorite part of camping.
Oh right, the tents are borrowed from Perkins and are decorated like Mrs Figgs’ house. All the theories that they are related somehow.
Arthur is 100% enjoying this living like Muggles thing, it’s adorable.
I love all the international wizards, and the little kids. Great atmosphere.
Krum looks “really grumpy” according to Hermione. He’ll get better.
The wizard in a nightgown! “I like a healthy breeze around my privates, thanks.” Classic.
First we hear of other wizard schools. Also Unspeakables from the Department of Mysteries are mentioned!
Hi Ludo, looking like a giant bee/wasp. “Agatha Timms has put up half shares in her EEL FARM on a week-long match.” Please tell me that’s not a really thing. Wait, it is.
The twins betting on the match, that’s going to bite them in the ass later.
Mr Crouch speaks 200 languages, according to Percy (who is “positively writhing with excitement” at the mention of Crouch. WTF).
Oh shit, Crouch DOES have a toothbrush moustache? Huh. “He could have passed as a bankmanager.” Orrrr…
“Oh… yes, thank you, Weatherby.” Aw.
Carpets WOULD be great for families though, Ali Bashir (sigh) is right.
Something is going to happen at Hogwarts…
The merchandise! I love this. And aw, Ron’s mini Krum. Although, omnioculars are 10 galleons each??! Damn. (When did Harry get cash to buy this stuff?)
“It’s time! Come on, let’s go!”
8 – The Quidditch World Cup
Ugh why wasn’t this in the film. Man, the way this is written, *I* want to go.
Winky! … and I forgot how annoying her broken speech is. “Dobby was weirder” is harsh though, Harry – on Dobby, that is.
Oh right, the mascot parade coming up.
The Malfoys!
Isn’t there a translation spell? Would be quite useful right now. Or just hire a translator, Fudge…
“Welcome to the final of the four hundred and twenty-second” Hunger Games! I mean Quidditch World Cup.
… somehow I forgot the Veela were Bulgarian? I thought they were French. Huh. And they sound like pretty boring mascots for the women and gay men in the audience. And very dangerous, too.
Leprechauns! 100% Irish stereotypes.
“Viktor Krum was thin, dark, and sallow skinned, with a large curved nose and thick black eyebrows.” “He looked like an overgrown bird of prey.” So he’s related to Snape?
I hate that they movie cut the game. I wanted to see the Wronski Feint in action!
“The leprechauns had … formed a giant hand which was making a very rude sign indeed across the pitch towards the Veela.” I hate that they cut this too. :p (And I only just now realised what they were making; that completely went over my head the first few times around.)
Ouch, Bludger to the face. And the Irish Seeker has the worst luck ever – no luck o’ the Irish.
“KRUM GETS THE SNITCH – BUT IRELAND WIN – Good Lord, I don’t think any of us were expecting that!” Well actually.
Heh, the Bulgarian MoM can speak English.
Krum “was still holding the Snitch”. Does he get to take it home or do they always use the same Snitch at every World Cup game?
9 – The Dark Mark. Dundundunnn.
Heh poor Molly, maybe expected a few days of peace and quiet, but the match is over in about an hour.
Oh dear, ominous change in atmosphere… Also ugh, nice, add some sexual humiliation too, stupid Death Eaters…
“Ron told Draco to do something that Harry knew he would never say in front of Mrs Weasley.”
“Ou est Madame Maxime? Nous l’avons perdu – “ Huh, Beauxbatons students. Also I understand that sentence now! (“Where is Madame Maxime? We have lost her.” Also, HOW.)
Hey, Winky pulling an invisible Barty away.
Hermione’s starting SPEW right here.
Ron is so susceptible to Veela. Interesting. (Well he ís older than Harry.)
MORSMORDRE. Which is an awesome word to say.
Oops, wrong place, wrong time.
“No non-human creature is permitted to carry or use a wand.” Ouch.
Poor winky. :(
Priori Incantato!
“I trust you remember the many proofs I have given that I despise and detest the Dark Arts and those who practice them?” Oh yes.
“I is seeing no one, sir…” True.
“This means clothes.” D: Now Hermione is REALLY starting SPEW.
Aw Bill got hurt.
Of course Hermione read a book called The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts.
Nice infodump on the Dark Mark and Death Eaters.
Yech, DE’s having ‘a bit of fun’…
10 – Mayhem at the Ministry. ??? No return to Hogwarts yet?
“They were able to take an old rubber tyre back to Stoadshead Hill before the sun had really risen.” It makes sense in context. :p Also they spend less than 24 hours away from home!
Aw Molly.
How did the Prophet publish something in FOUR HOURS? Also Rita Skeeter is mentioned.
“We should be stamping out vampires!” Are vampires really that huge a problem?
“On Sunday morning I woke up with my scar hurting again.” That was Saturday, Harry dear.
Mundungus Fletcher is mentioned again.
Bill plays chess with Ron! Aw.
“The fat’s really in the fire now.” ? OK?
Oh gosh, the dress robes. At least alter them a bit, Molly! Geez. “Why is everything I own rubbish?!” said Ron. Because your mom apparently hates you.
11 – Aboard the Hogwarts Express. Finally.
Huh, I forgot how much Amos is in this book.
Mad-Eye is mentioned! A mysterious ‘break-in’ at his house. Aurors are mentioned, Dark-Wizard catcher. So no Hit Wizards?
Yay Hogwarts Express.
“Yeah, I sort of wish I was back at Hogwarts this year,” says Bill. He would have met Fleur one year sooner.
Haha everybody is being so annoyingly mysterious.
“I’m very glad they changed the rules,” says Molly. Well except for Harry.
Some infodumping on Beauxbatons and Durmstrang.
“Shame [Malfoy’s] mother likes him.” That’s going to save Harry’s ass in a few years.
Aw Neville.
Of course Malfoy knows about the Triwizard Tournament.
Horseless carriages – for now!
12 – The Triwizard Tournament
Ugh Peeves. Nearly causing McGonagall to slip and fall.
Yay the Great Hall. Needs more Lupin. (First mention! “Harry’s favorite teacher by far had been Professor Lupin, who had resigned last year.”)
Oh right, Dennis Creevey. Heh, he fell in the lake and loved it.
New Sorting Hat song.
“For a fleeting second, Harry had a strange desire to join the Ravenclaw table, too.” Hormones, Harry, get used to them.
Ugh the Twins hiss at an eleven-year old Slytherin. Grow up.
OK Dennis is adorable.
Natalie McDonald joins Gryffindor.
Ron is hangry.
Right, house-elves at Hogwarts.
“As ever, I would like to remind you all that the Forest in the grounds is out-of-bounds to students, as is the village of Hogsmeade to all below third year.” Except for detention!
No Quidditch Cup? Dundundunnn… (Oliver graduated at the right time!)
Mad-Eye interrupting Dumbledore. Dramatic with lighting and everything. :p Damn what an introduction though.
“I am NOT joking, Mr Weasley, though, now you mention it, I did hear an excellent one over the summer about a troll, a hag and a leprechaun who all go into a bar – “ Not the right moment, Dumbles.
So they were all preparing for the TWT during PoA.
Only 17+ students allowed…
“Neville’s memory was notoriously poor.” Actually, was his memory wiped or is his memory just naturally bad? Hmm he has no problem memorizing all kinds of plants..
Heh Harry’s having his first wet dream?
13 – Mad-Eye Moody
Bubotuber Pus. Such a fun word to say. Also poor Elois Midgen.
Oh God the Blast-Ended Skrewts. “What is the POINT of them.” Draco does have a point there.
Hermione is pro-elf but anti-skrewt. Just because they’re less cuddly...! :p
LOL wait, Harry is not born “under the baleful influence of Saturn” but Snape IS.
“Can I have a look at Uranus too, Lavender?” Oh Ron.
Malfoy you asshole. Enjoy being a ferret. … ok the bouncing is a bit much.
“Moody, we NEVER use Transfiguration as a punishment! Surely Professor Dumbledore told you that?”
“He might’ve mentioned it, yeah.” Why was it necessary to mention it at all?!
He drags Malfoy off to Snape. Fun.
“He KNOWS, man,” said Lee.
“Knows what it’s like to be out there DOING IT.”
“He’s seen it all.”
Far out!
14 – The Unforgivable Curses
“Professor Snape, who seemed to have obtained new levels of vindictiveness over the summer.” I’m sure that had nothing to do with a certain ex-prisoner of Azkaban. He’s strangely wary of Moody though.
The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection. So I guess they cover dark creatures in the first three years, then starting in fourth year they begin covering practical stuff?
Lupin Mention #2
Moody has a point that they need to know what the curses look like.
CONSTANT VIGILANCE.
Neville and the Cruciatus curse. :( OH SHIT AND BARTY TORTURED HIS PARENTS AND HE’S NOW TEACHING NEVILLE WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE. WTF JO ROWLING.
Poor Neville. :(
Avada Kedavra…
I took a few self-defense classes a while ago and that teacher confirms what Moody says here: the best self-defense is not getting into a situation where you need it.
Hogwarts definitely needs a counsellor. Poor, poor Neville. At least Moody is nice here, quite Remussy. Which is a thought I had seconds before Harry made the comparison. :p (Lupin Mention #3)
Heh, making up the Divination predictions. Fun.
Fred and George are doing something… mysterious.
“You seem to be drowning twice.”
“Not ‘spew’. It’s S – P – E – W.”
“They LIKE being enslaved.” Sure but did he have to put it like... that?
Hermione. Why. Just. Why.
So Sirius is hearing strange rumours – how? (Edit: in the final chapters Dumbledore confirms he’s been writing to Sirius, too.)
Harry, stop beating yourself up, you’re not Remus. Sirius is his own person.
Aw, Neville can’t sleep either. :(
15 – Beauxbatons and Durmstrang
LOL, ‘no actually I was wrong, stay away’. Like Sirius would fall for that.
“Dumbledore wants you taught what [the Imperius Curse] feels like.” Harsh. But it makes sense, Dumbledore knows there’s a 99% chance Voldemort is coming back.
Of course Harry can fight it though. OHH HE’S A HORCRUX, DUH, THERE’S TWO VOICES IN HIS HEAD. It’s like Agnes Nitt in Discworld!
“Excuse me, I don’t like people just because they’re handsome,” said Hermione indignantly.
Ron gave a loud false cough, which sounded oddly like ‘Lockhart!’
Hogwarts gets a good cleaning to prepare for the visitors.
Of course Hermione knows the needed info on the Triwizard Tournament.
Hogwarts: A History has over a thousand pages?! Also Hermione doesn’t like it much anymore. She is the WORST Social Justice Warrior, completely refusing to see another point of view.
Heh Sirius, “nice try, Harry”. So dry.
“You can’t Apparate inside Hogwarts ground, how often do I have to tell you?!” Try another few thousand times.
Madame Maxime! Dumbly-dorrr, heh.
Why are none of them wearing cloaks? Scotland! October! Hello!
The Durmstrang students win the dramatic entrance price.
Karakroff, of course.
“Harry – it’s Krum!”
16 – The Goblet of Fire. Title drop!
Page 218, Halloween chapter!
Hey, the oldest students wear lipstick? Where do they get it?
The Beauxbatons students stand when Madame Maxime enters, huh. Hermione’s judging the shit out of them, ugh.
Hi Fleur. Ron is VERY impressed.
Why is the Goblet in a CASKET. It sounds ominous.
“A large, roughly hewn wooden cup.” Ahem.
“The placing of your name in the Goblet constitutes a binding magical contract.” First of all what’s the wizarding world’s obsession with binding contracts, and secondly why didn’t anyone else ask someone older to put their name in! (Suddenly there’s 200 different schools in Europe, haha.)
Oi Karkaroff, staring is rude.
Halloween is on a Saturday, but so was last years! (Harry had tea with Remus then because Ron and Hermione were off to Hogsmeade.) Maybe they always have the celebration on a Saturday? Or Jo is just bad at continuity and/or math.
“I would have done it [late at night] if it had been me.” Don’t say that too loud, Harry.
Heh ancient twins.
Why is everybody bashing Cedric for being handsome? Geez.
Augh Hagrid in love. Also he wears yellow socks? (He darns them with yellow yarn.) Matches his sweater from PS I guess. He looks at Madame Maxime the same way he looked at Norbert, ew.
Mr Crouch has NO idea his son is only feet away.
Yay Krum first champion.
Yay Fleur second champion.
Yay Cedric third champion.
“Well, now we have our three champions.” Dumbledore must be WTFing so hard at the 4th slip of paper. “Harry Potter.”
17 – The Four Champions.
I almost feel sorry for Dumbledore? Not only are things not going as expected, but it’s Harry in the danger zone once again. (Snape must be like “OF COURSE”)
Everyone is going WTF and Snape is taking this moment to bash Harry.
“Did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire, Harry?” Dumbledore asked CALMLY.
(Huh Moody’s not here?)
Sure, Dumbledore made a mistake with the age line, obviously…
Oh there’s Moody. Nice, suggesting exactly what he did but because he is the paranoid one nobody believes him.
First task is on November 24.
The Gryffindor Common Room is an introvert’s nightmare.
Aw Ron. :(
18 – The Weighing of the Wands. Oh right.
At least Hermione is supportive and sensible. And she’s being the feeling translator. “Isn’t it obvious? He’s jealous!”
Yeah, write to Sirius!
Aw, the ‘puffs feel like Harry stole their thunder AGAIN. A House full of Rons. Also Justin hates Harry again.
What is the PURPOSE of the Skrewts? And why is there no oversight on what Hagrid is teaching? I would have been fried or blasted in five minutes.
“Everythin’ seems ter happen ter you, doesn’ it?” Yes. “That was the reason, according to Hermione, that Ron was no longer talking to him.” Welcome to your own life, Harry.
Oh yeah, the Cedric badges. POTTER STINKS.
Densaugeo! Dens – teeth, augeo – augment? Anyway Hermione gets beaver teeth.
“And what is all this noise about?” said a soft, deadly voice. Snape had arrived.”
“I see no difference.” Die, Snape.
Heh, Ron and Hermione shouting simultaneously in defense of Hermione. “[Snape] got the gist, however.” I should hope so!
Harry wants to Crucio Snape and/or ram his cauldron on his greasy head.
Oh hi Rita. Piss off.
“We have to check that your wands are fully functional.” Juuuuuust leaving that there.
Rita has a heavy jaw and thick fingers and large mannish hands. Ugh Jo. And hey the Quick-Quotes Quill.
This article is full of alternative facts.
Oh, Dumbles was at the International Confederation of Wizards’ Conference over the summer. No cruiseship for him. Also Rita described him as an obsolete dingbat.
Hi Ollivander hi.
“An ‘air from ze ‘head of a Veela. One of my grandmuzzers.”
Cedric polished his wand last night. OK.
Gregorovitch is mentioned.
“Mr Ollivander spent much longer examining Harry’s wand than anyone else’s.”
Sirius conversation on the 22nd of November.
19 – The Hungarian Horntail
Harry has worse nerves than before his first Quidditch match.
Ugh Rita’s article. Hermione’s taking it extremely well – she’s had practice with bullying?
Aw Harry misses Ron :( They’re a Trio for a reason!
“It is a strange thing, but when you are dreading something, and would give anything to slow down time, it has a disobliging habit of speeding up.” Ain’t that the truth.
Huh supernatural creatures come to Hogsmeade.
The first task is on Tuesday November 24.
Moody prefers to bring his own drinks ‘in case of poison’. Sure.
Midnight date with Hagrid! And… Madame Maxime? “Bong-sewer,” says Hagrid, polyglot.
DRAGONS.
Hi Charlie. “I don’t envy the one who gets the Horntail.” Sigh.
Molly’s falling for the Rita article hook, line and sinker.
Yay Sirius yay. He got a haircut! And a bath. “He looked younger, much more like the only photograph Harry had of him, which had been taken at the Potter’s wedding.” Enjoy it while it lasts. And aw, Harry finally gets some therapy.
The inmates at Azkaban are such gossips!
Sirius is ALMOST right about the Moody ‘break-in’.
Boo Ron interrupting. And boo Harry hating him!
20 – The First Task
Just send Sirius a letter asking what he meant to say before they were interrupted, geez.
“Men who love dragons too much.” Bit suggestive, that book title.
“He supposed he must have been happy with his parents too.”
Duh Harry, of course Cedric is suspicious. You’re supposed to be competitors.
“Harry wouldn’t have let his worst enemies face those monsters unprepared. Well, perhaps Malfoy or Snape.” Heh.
Whoo visit to the DADA office! Gosh how odd that Moody’s Dark detectors keep picking up suspiciousness. (Foe glass!) At least he helps Harry figure things out. Accio!
Page 304 First Task. PS and CoS are already done by now, PoA almost.
Why is Ludo wearing his Wasp robes.
Of course Harry draws the Horntail and number 4. Nicely atmospheric description of his waiting time, though.
“This was just another Quidditch match.” Uh.
“Well this is going to shorten the odds on Mr Potter.” Ludo would know.
“Last year Dementors, this year dragons, what are they going to bring into this school next?” Umbridge.They're bringing Umbridge next.
“Harry, whoever put your name in that Goblet – I – I reckon they’re trying to do you in!” Aw Ron.
Aw Hermione. Aw the whole school.
Second task Februari 24. (Third on May 24? Every three months?)
21 – The House-Elf Liberation Front
Page 316, PoA is finished by now!
“There’s no way any of the other tasks are going to be that dangerous, how could they be?” Oh Ron.
Shrieking egg! Also canary Neville!
Hagrid still with the Skrewts.
Oh hi Dobby. The kitchens sound awesome. Aw, Winky in her matching clothes, even with a fetching hat. And heh, Dobby negotiated his wages DOWN.
Winky’s mom and grandma worked for the Crouches. Actually, how do House-Elves reproduce? Is there like a breeding program? Do they lay eggs?
Aw, Ron likes Dobby.
“Percy wouldn’t recognize a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing Dobby’s teacosy.” Classic line.
22 – The Unexpected Task
Hee Ron and Harry having a fake-wand swordfight. Oh 14-year olds.
The Yule Ball!
“Professor McGonagall, with her hair in a tight bun, looked as though she had never let her hair down in any sense.” Hey, she was married once.
Mandatory asking a girl out. Wait, does it have to be a girl? Could Harry ask Ron?
“It was amazing how many girls Hogwarts suddenly seemed to hold.”
“Why do they move in packs? How’re you supposed to get one on their own to ask them?”
“Lasso one?”
The Weird Sisters!
Fred asking Angelina to the ball was cuter in the movie (god I love Harry spotting Snape coming up as Ron talks to Hermione, trying to shush Ron and getting a smack anyway because it's Snape and he's Harry. And at 1:01 someone lights their homework on fire!).
“Giggling should be made illegal.”
“Wangoballwime?” Awkward.
LOL of course Cedric is suddenly useless and stupid now.
Aw, Ginny had hoped to go to the ball with Harry. And aw Neville asked Hermione (I forgot about that). Cue Ron smoothtalking Hermione: “you ARE a girl!”
Lavender ALMOST went with Ron! Give it two more years.
23 – The Yule Ball
God, Hermione is so CATTY to Fleur!
“Twitchy little ferret, aren’t you, Malfoy?”
Sirius sounds exactly like Moody. Well yeah. He’s got a point though.
Dobby the horrible alarm clock. Aw, he has a Christmas bauble on his tea cosy.
Why did Ron get VIOLET socks? What happened to maroon? And does Molly just hate her son?
Ron is immediately more focused on Hermione than on her actual date.
Hee Draco looks like a vicar. And Krum is accompanied by “a pretty girl in BLUE robe Harry didn’t know.”
McGonagall wears RED tartan? I always pictured her in green. Damn movies.
Heh Hermione had a princess transformation!
Percy is here?
Zomg, Krum speaks!
The Room of Requirement! Chamberpots! Doesn’t Dumbledore have his own bathroom though? Him running around Hogwarts in the middle of the night looking for somewhere to pee is so... undignified for a Headmaster. If the story was true anyway, and considering it's Dumbledore, that's debatable.
“Her-my-oh-nee.”
Oh Ron, you 14-year old boy. Although FFS Snape is somehow being even more immature than Ron, blasting rose bushes apart. Bet nobody asked him to the dance. (Also Karkaroff is worried about their Marks.)
… Hagrid romantic moment. “Harry tried to interest himself in a beetle crawling along.” Squash it!!
HOW DOES GIANT/HUMAN… STUFF EVEN WORK?!
“I ‘ave big bones!” Sure.
Take a bath with the egg Harry, duh.
“Next time there’s a ball, ask me before someone else does and not s a last resort!”
This is 100% like all school dances I ever went to. Emotional fall-out and all.
24 – Rita Skeeter’s Scoop
“They can’t ALL be horrible... it’s the same sort of prejudice that people have towards werewolves… it’s just bigotry, isn’t it?” Oh NOW she’s anti werewolf bigotry?
Of course Harry is too proud to accept Cedric’s help.
Ah, professor Grubbly-Plank! And the unicorn!
Uggghhh Rita. (Kind of surprised she didn’t drag Remus into this, it’s only been six months since the fallout from PoA.)
Krum swims in the lake, brrrr.
Hmmm Mr Crouch is missing…
Aaaaand Hermione pissed off Rita. Smart.
Hee Dumbledore the therapist. “I have gone temporarily deaf and haven’t any idea what you said.”
“Really Hagrid, if you’re holding out for universal popularity, I’m afraid you will be in this cabin for a very long time.”
Aberforth and the goats! Although the sneer about not being able to read really wasn’t necessary, Dumbles.
Dumbledore will accept anyone at Hogwarts as long as they’ve got the talent and no matter their family. “It is our choices…”
25 – The Egg and the Eye
I want the prefect’s bathroom. (Wait, they have pool parties? What is going on at this school?! This is just ASKING for NC17 fics)
“Harry … pulled off his pyjamas, slippers and dressing gown.” In that sequence?
Myrtle! You perv!
Siren song. I’m hearing the movie’s.
The mermaid in the picture “giggling and showing off and flashing her fins”. Just her fins?
Vernon and Petunia never gave Harry swimming lessons. :( Hoping he’d drown! WTF!
Dundundunnn Barty Crouch in Hogwarts?!
Oh shit he gets caught by… Moody and Snape? I forgot about this scene. Yeah, Snape, wearing a grey nightshirt. Oooh and ‘Moody’ stole the Polyjuice supplies, that’s right. “Who’d want to break into your office?” he asks Snape, misdirecting.
“Spots that never come off.” ‘Moody’ would know.
Once again Snape is inches away from catching a Potter and foiled at the last minute.
So… does the Map also account for Polyjuice? Otherwise that’s going to be awkward.
Lupin mention #4.
Noooo don’t let Moody borrow the Map!
“You ever thought of a career as an Auror, Potter?”
26 – The Second Task
Page 416, pff.
Heh, poor Flitwick and the Banishing Charms. Cushions flying everywhere.
They’re pretty consistently wearing hats in the books.
Lupin mention #5. And now Hermione is all “Dumbledore was right to trust Lupin”. What happened to "if I had been smarter I would have told someone", huh??
Aww unicorn foals.
“What if a teacher had once mentioned how to breathe underwater?” Then Hermione would know.
“Powers you never knew you had and what to do with them now you’ve wised up.” Sounds like an interesting book.
… I plain forgot DOBBY gave him the Gillyweed. Neville actually makes more sense.
Ew, eating the Gillyweed. Although, gills! I want gills! Except without the huge dark lake or the grindylows.
Oooh mermaid cave painting.
Harry stop being such a hero. As if the others would really be left to die.
LOL Ron. “Wet, this, isn’t it?” Really!
Aww Percy was worried. “He looked very white and somehow much younger than usual.”
Of course Dumbledore speaks Mermish.
Harry “was now heartily wishing he’d left all three girls tied to the statue.” Heh.
Hermione’s pissed Fleur kissed Harry and Ron.
“You weren’t being thick after all – you were showing moral fibre.” Well he IS in Gryffindor.
Third task June 24.
27 – Padfoot Returns. Yay.
Ron’s enjoying his time in the limelight.
Oh shit the Witch Weekly article. “She’s made you out to be some sort of… of scarlet woman!”
Snape… just grow up. Please.
Oh hey Veritaserum.
Yay Padfoot. “I’m pretending to be a loveable stray.” Wait don’t wizards have pounds? Wizard animal control?
Crouch deserves to be deadly ill for sacking his house elf? Sure, Hermione.
“If you want to know what a man is like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.” I mean, I get where he’s coming from, but Kreacher, Sirius?
Ew, Crouch send Sirius to Azkaban. Also Sirius doesn’t sugarcoat or hide things cause they’re ‘too young’.
God the war was a paranoid time. “Times like that bring out the best in some people, and the worst in others.” Aurors given new powers, to kill rather than capture. That doesn’t sound familiar at all…
Crouch fought violence with violence.
“The boy was definitely caught in the company of people I’d bet my life were Death Eaters.” He’d know. “He can’t have been more than nineteen.” Sirius was 23 at most…
Azkaban is a nightmare. :/ Although interesting that Dementors bury inmates, they might as well have tossed them out to sea (although I guess the Muggles would start asking questions about the bodies being washed ashore.)
Yeah let’s discuss Snape, great idea with this crowd. “He was famous for being fascinated by the Dark Arts, oily, greasy-haired kid.”
“The Lestranges – they’re a married couple – they’re in Azkaban.”
Kind of odd Sirius doesn’t appear to know about the Dark Mark though?
“I just can’t see [Dumbledore] letting Snape teach at Hogwarts if he’d ever worked for Voldemort.”
“Call me Snuffles.” Aw.
28 – The Madness of Mr Crouch
Aw Dobby and the socks. And oh gosh drunk Winky. And Mr Crouch has some odd secret…
Augh the hatemail to Hermione. “gO Back where you cAME from MUggle.”
Niffles! Fun class! Although poor, poor Ron. :(
“Maybe [Rita] had you bugged.” Close!
“Aren’t you two EVER going to read Hogwarts: A History?”
“What’s the point? You know it off by heart, we can just ask you.”
GDI Molly, Hermione’s Ron’s friend too!
Noooo they ruined the Quidditch pitch.
Heh Harry has to defend/explain himself to Krum.
Mr Crouch is not doing very well…
GDI SNAPE STOP BEING SO USELESS. GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS FOR ONCE.
Dumbledore to the rescue! Casting a Patronus to send a message! And what a COINCIDENCE Moody is here!
Oops, don’t insult Dumbledore in front of Hagrid.
Ew Hagrid, “You can’t trust foreigners.” Wizards are so casually racist.
29 – The Dream. ???
The twins have some mysterious business.
Aw mandatory staying indoors for Harry.
Training montage! I forgot all this stuff.
Heh Trelawney’s model of the solar system has NINE planets! And right, the dream during Divination!
Ugh Peter was going to be eaten alive by Nagini?
Trelawney, piss off with your ~clairvoyant vibrations~
Hee Dumbledore’s password is Cockroach Cluster.
“Madame Maxime is a very able headmistress – and an excellent dancer.”
Fudge is racist, but what else is new.
30 – The Pensieve (hersenpan in Dutch! A word used for the skull which translates to 'brainpan'.The Dutch edition has some pretty clever translations)
Yay Fawkes.
‘Hmm a mysterious liquid in a bowl, let’s stick my face in it.’
Interesting to compare it with the Diary.
Oooh Karkaroff, spewing names. Antonin Dolohov, Evan Rosier, Travers, Mulciber, Rookwood, Snape.
Oh shit, the Bagman trial. Git.
BELLATRIX. Being a creepy cultist. The Barty part is affecting, though.
“I sometimes find, and I’m sure you know the feeling, that I simply have too many thoughts and memories crammed into my head.” I know that feeling.
Ah, that age-old mystery of WHO KISSED FLORENCE BEHIND THE GREENHOUSE?!
Dumbledore, if you’ve been in contact with Sirius and suggested that cave, MAYBE YOU COULD HAVE ARRANGED FOR SOME FOOD, TOO. Or have him camp out with Aberforth or ANYTHING ELSE BUT A LITERAL CAVE.
Frank Bryce finally gets mentioned again.
The wizarding world is so insular…
Poor Neville. :( Worse than having dead parents.
“What made you think [Snape] really stopped supporting Voldemort?”
“That, Harry, is a matter between professor Snape and myself.”
Aw don’t spill Neville’s secret to others.
31 – The Third Task
Page 526, 110 left to go!
“[Dumbledore] trusts Snape? He really trusts Snape, even though he knows he was a Death Eater?” He trusts Snape with his life, in fact.
Harry “felt a rush of anger and hate towards the people who had tortured Mr and Mrs Longbottom.” Save it for later.
Training montage again!
“[Voldemort] cannot hope to lay hands on you while you’re under Dumbledore’s protection.” Good point, especially the last bit.
Oh fuck off Rita. And Draco too. (Werewolf mention, does that count as a Lupin mention?) Yay Hermione figured Rita out.
Aw, Molly and Billy are Harry’s family. ^^ And lol, Fleur is already eyeing Bill appreciatively.
Ooh Molly and Arthur sneaking out at night, back in their Hogwarts days.
Huh Amos dislikes Harry. At least his wife and Cedric are nice.
The Willow was planted after Molly left school. Huh. Just how much older are the Weasleys than the Marauders? And the gamekeeper before Hagrid was named Ogg.
Aw, Percy is stressed.
“I must say, it makes a lovely change, not having to cook.” A) magic, B) are Arthur’s hands lame? (Also ugh that Molly really believed the Skeeter piece.)
The description of the Third Task is pretty exciting.
Hey, so Patronii (??) can be cast with just happy thoughts/imaginations rather than happy memories? (Also lucky that they covered Boggarts last year.)
The upside-down thing is neat.
If Krum does the Cruciatus curse while Imperio’d, does it mean HE is capable of it? Doesn’t it need pure hatred? Or is he more a conduit of Barty since he is under the Imperius curse? I want Unforgivable Curse logistics please.
The sphinx! The riddle is actually pretty cute (… if you know the answer).
Ouch, Harry’s leg.
“Stop being noble.” What if Cedric HAD though? That would have ruined the whole plan. Barty is gambling everything on Cedric and Harry being the perfect Hufflepuff and Gryffindor. Speaking of, they’re having a battle of who’s being the noblest right now.
Cliffhanger! And on the right-hand page too!
32 – Flesh, Blood and Bone
Hum, the Cup is a Portkey…
“Kill the spare.” Jesus. “Cedric was lying spread-eagled on the ground beside [Harry]. He was dead.”
Ew Babymort.
“Bone of the father, unknowingly given, you will renew your son.” “Flesh of the servant, willingly given, you will revive your master.” Jesus Christ. “Blood of the enemy, forcibly taken, you will resurrect your foe.” HOW IS THIS A KIDS’ BOOK.
Nekkid Voldemort.
“Lord Voldemort had risen again.” Page 558.
33 – The Death Eaters
Voldemort “began examining his body.” Ew. Also how did he get his wand back?
“How many will be brave enough to return when they feel it? And how many will be foolish enough to stay away?”
And like all good villains he starts monologuing.
Tom Riddle Sr “didn’t like magic”. No, he just didn’t like rape potions.
“I do not forgive. I do not forget.”
Wormtail returned “not out of loyalty but out of fear for his old friends.” How is Voldemort LESS scary??
Silver hand!
“Lucius, my slippery friend.” Ew.
“When Azkaban is broken open, the Lestranges will be honored beyond their dreams.” I dunno, I bet Bellatrix has some pretty wild dreams.
Oh hi Macnair.
“One, too cowardly to return… One, who I believe has left me forever… and one who remains my most faithful servant.” Oh the endless discussions on those first two.
Lucius: “We beg you to tell us… how you have achieved this – this miracle… how you managed to return to us.” Oh don’t MAKE him talk.
“What I was, even I do not know.” A Horcrux. You were a Horcrux.
How did ghostdemort cross the Channel? Oh right, he can possess people. Hey Quirrel is namedropped.
How dare Voldemort call rats filthy.
“Wormtail … convinced Bertha Jorkins to accompany him on a nighttime stroll.” How?!
“Now untie him, Wormtail, and give him back his wand.” STUPID.
34 – Priori Incantatem (Not incantato? Singular?)
“Come, the niceties must be observed.”
Ooh do they hear phoenix song because of their wand cores?
Battle of wills.
The sequence is wrong! James comes out BEFORE Lily even though he was killed first! (Also these ghosts are surprisingly self-aware.)
Whew, they escaped… Well, Harry did.
35 – Veritaserum
This moment is so awful in the movie. :( Poor Amos!
Fuck off Fudge.
Wow Moody overruled Dumbledore. At least conjure a stretcher or something! Harry’s leg is broken!
“I know who the Death Eater is,” says ‘Moody’. I’d think so, yeah.
“It was I who did that.” (Name, Goblet.) Another villain monologue.
Hang on, if he entered Harry under another school, wouldn’t it have shown up on the piece of parchment? Or did he enter him under Hagworts and his handwriting was lousy enough that nobody noticed?
“Decent people are so easy to manipulate.” Ouch.
You know, this could have been so much easier if you evil guys weren’t so bloody dramatic.
I dunno if Voldemort will be happy if someone else kills Harry…
Yay Dumbledore, McGonagall and Snape! And Dumbledore is scary.
“He needs to understand.” Very Remus.
Sirius is in the pumpkin patch.
Aw, real Moody. :( I do love active, effective Dumbledore.
Barty Crouch! Dundundunnn. I do love the way Jo wrote the Veritaserum dialogue. Short, businesslike sentences. Although how did Wormtail and Barty make Polyjuice potion in less than two weeks?
And Dumbledore finds out about the Map. (Wait, I thought he already knew? Maybe he’s just playing dumb for the interrogation.)
…. Ew, so Bone Crouch Sr was in the Niffler patch during the lesson?! (Ah, no, Barty put it in afterwards.)
36 – The Parting of the Ways
Aw, Dumbledore’s voice shaking slightly. :(
Heh, I wonder if Sirius has been talking to his greatgreatgranddad while in Dumbledore’s office.
Dumbledore is right, better to confront it now rather than let it fester.
The gleam of triumph in Dumbledore’s eyes! The YEARS of debate about that!
“He could see Cedric emerging, see the old man, Bertha Jorkins… his mother… his father…” The right sequence this time.
How does Sirius know what Priori Incantatum is? Also, poor guy.
Oh for fuck’s sake, Fudge brought a Dementor to the castle. (That was quick? How did he get one so fast?) McGonagall is piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissed.
“Dumbledore was staring hard at Fudge, as though seeing him plainly for the first time.” Fudge just lost his usefulness.
Rita Skeeter is basically Fox News.
“Snape made a sudden movement.” Why? Afraid Harry will name him?
Fudge is the most useless person ever.
“It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!”
Snape’s Dark Mark! Dundundunn. (Hang on, why didn’t Snape immediately go to Dumbledore when he felt the Mark return, when Harry was still in the graveyard? 'Albus, look, THIS JUST HAPPENED')
“I will be in touch with you tomorrow, Dumbledore, to discuss the running of this school.” UMBRIDGE IMMINENT.
Dumbledore gathering the troops. (Wait a second, Winky was still in Moody’s office when Barty got the Kiss?! Damn.)
Hang on, Snape did not recognize SiriusDog? Does he even know what he looks like? Huh.
“Lie low at Lupin’s for a while.” Lupin mention #6!
“Alert the old crowd.” Yaaay. And a secret mission for Snape!
And we end on a really depressing note with Harry. :( The poor kid is only 14!
37 – The Beginning
Oh gosh, Cedric’s parents. :((
Ooohh mysterious reason why Harry has to return to the Dursleys… Oh wait, Voldemort explained that already.
Is Prisoner literally the only year they had a full year of DADA classes? Well done Remus. (Ok only because the full moon just happened to fall on the very last day of exams.)
“What’s comin’ will come, an’ we’ll meet it when it does.” Why do I get slightly emotional over this?
“WHY was Dumbledore so convinced Snape was truly on their side?” Harry, you literally wouldn’t believe it.
Cho’s crying. Prepare yourself, Harry.
“It is my believe, however, that the truth is generally preferable to lies.” Except when it comes to Harry, but fair point.
Some world leaders need to be whacked with this speech.
“Remember Cedric Diggory.” Sob.
“We will see each uzzer again, I ‘ope.” Oh yes. And aw, Krum giving Ron an autograph!
Rita the Beetle! Evil Hermione.
“We could all do with a few laughs. I’ve got a feeling we’re going to need them more than usual before long.” Too damn right.
And that’s the start of the Three Year Summer!
GoF is a book of firsts for me. I first read it in 2000, the same summer I read PS, CoS and PoA. Back then, the book had been released in English that summer but not yet in Dutch. I actually borrowed it off my recorder teacher (I used to play recorder for something like 12 years :p) because she was a Potterfan too and she had the book in English. It also made GoF the 100+ page book I read originally in English and out of my own free will (= not because I had to because of school)! My poor brother had to wait until something like November, when the Dutch version was released. It was also the first time I went to a midnight release. Not in my own hometown, but a bookstore in a city a few kilometers away did a midnight release for the Dutch edition, so my mom and dad and me set out for that. There were like 30 people in total. I remember a few cops dropping by because they weren't sure the bookstore had asked permission to stay open that late; they convinced the cops that we had all came there by invitation! They had wizard-themed candy and 'potions' (actually lemonade in crazy colors) and to open the doors we had to shout 'Dreuzel!' (Muggle) at the count of three! I think I did read the Dutch GoF, too, but that was the last one I read completely in Dutch.
Anyway, this was a fun one to reread. PS introduced us to Harry and his world, CoS offered some more history of Hogwarts and Voldemort, PoA introduced some more outside-of-Hogwarts elements but it was still pretty school-centered. GoF is the one that really opens up the wider wizarding world to us, starting with the Quidditch World Cup, the two other wizarding schools, and of course the realisation that the wizarding world itself is pretty fucked up politically, which we will learn much more about in OotP.
Of course it's also the one where Voldemort comes back. The ending scene is still pretty chilling - we're definitely not in children's book territory anymore. That also shines through in the writing. PoA was already a bit more sophisticated than the previous ones, but GoF also uses more... not exactly adult language (heh) but it definitely doesn't talk down to children.
And then the Three-Year Summer... I discussed the series with a couple of friends the other day, as I was rereading OotP, and of course we ended up talking about the Three Year Summer. One of them said that he felt that GoF was, from a fan perspective, the hardest point to have that 3-year gap. Voldemort had just come back, Dumbledore was gathering the troops, but we had no idea what was going to happen. I have to say, I feel the exact opposite. The ending of GoF was the perfect place to have a longer waiting time (in hindsight it's only one year longer than the waits between the final two books, but somehow it feels much longer!). It offered so much opportunity for speculation and, yes, filling in the gaps with fanfiction. It was a very fertile breeding ground for all kinds of theories and shenanigans. It helped, of course, that Harry Potter came up just when the internet did, so they got to more or less grow together. But I think the fact that we ended there also helped a lot. Fandom blossomed during those three years, and I absolutely loved it.
I sincerely credit the Potter fandom with my level of English speaking and writing. I mentioned GoF was the first book I read in English; it was also inadvertently how I ended up scoring a 9.2 out of 10 on my final exam, whereas I had only scored 3 out of 10 a few years before. In 2001, I regularly spend my time in the school library, not just because I was a Ravenclaw but also because I was excused gym classes and I had nothing better to do. :p I would always read the newspaper there (to the point where the librarian would just hand me it when I walked in). One day I read an article about Warner Brothers squashing down on Harry Potter websites, and one British girl named Claire fighting back to be allowed to maintain her fansite harrypotterguide.co.uk It intrigued me, so I paid it a visit (thanks, Warner Brothers!). It turned out they had a discussion board, and I couldn't resist. I made up a user name consisting of my read first name and the last name of my favourite HP character, but in Dutch because I myself was Dutch. Linda Lupos was born.
The Boy Who Lived, or TBWL, as the forum was known, became my home online. I met people online whom I've never met in real life but who are still my friends (the people I mentioned earlier? I met them on TBWL). I started writing fanfiction there (horrid, horrid fanfic at first), basically ran an Alan Rickman fanclub with another girl, and of course argued and debated and theorised about the books. At one point I came very close to considering Snape my favourite character over Remus, just because he was such an endless course of fascinating debate (I know, it was a momentary weakness :p) All in English, so I improved rapidy, to the point where I ended up comparing Pride & Prejudice and Sense & Sensibily for English class for fun, and my final oral exam was just ten minutes of me and one of my friends gabbing about nothing in particular all in fluent English. (Yes my teacher loved me.)
I also grew a lot personally. The 3 year summer overlapped with my final year of highschool and my first year of college, so that perfect stretch of time where you're almost an adult but also still safely at home, experimenting with becoming independent but also having something to fall back on with few 'real' responsibilities. A great time to get lost in a make-believe world with wizards and werewolves, and to meet many likeminded people to discuss these kinds of things with. Plus, like I mentioned, the internet grew with the HP fandom, so it was still a 'smallish' playground with a handful of main sites where you would find stuff. This was before Google, Youtube, Facebook, Twitter... I think I used a search engine called Altavista to find stuff? And of course I saw The Leaky Cauldron and Mugglenet arrive on the playground (I always felt a bit like they were interlopers since TBWL was there first and TLC and MN had never been threatened by Warner Brothers!), fanfiction.net became huge through HP (I enjoyed making fun of the worst of the worst on the Godawful Fanfiction board). Because I more or less stepped in early, my digital skills also grew naturally, and I pretty much inadvertendly learned the basics of using social media, HTML, etc. When I first read HP I didn't even know how to e-mail people; by the end, I reguarly chatted with all kinds of people from all over the world. :p But that was also a societal development; when I started highschool, we had computer classes where we were taught how to save stuff on a diskette, how to use Microsoft Word and everything; when the final book came out, the first iPhone had come out slightly less than a month before (june 29, 2007), revolutionising the way we would use tech. When I first went to the UK I had a photocamera that worked with film that had to be developed, and if I wanted to reach my parents I had to use a pay phone - the rest of the time, I was basically out of reach. Now, I have a tiny machine the size of my hand that is my camera, music player, calendar, e-mail reader, and oh right it can also make phone calls. It's bizarre. BUT because I pretty much grew up with the tech but was also at the age where I had to conciously learn stuff, I have a pretty good understanding of how the internet works. Which actually translated into a job skill: a couple of years back I developed and taught a social media course, which eventually helped me land my current job in local government, explaining social media and computers to middle aged government workers. So, I guess I have fandom to thank for that too. :p
So yeah, it was a pretty great time. And it was great to see how well the book holds up after all so long. There are some great moments of humor, some really nice foreshadowing (the Room of Requirement! I remember endless debates after Jo dropped in an interview that if she were to visit Hogwarts, she would go to a certain room mentioned in passing in GoF), and of course that chilling return of Voldemort. But what mostly struck me this time around, as I read this in 2017, with the current political situation being what it is, is that it ended on hope. I mentioned in my PoA recap that the terrible thing about that ending was that there was no victory there - Sirius got away but he'd be dead in two years, and lots of other people didn't have all that much longer to live. GoF, on the other hand, and somewhat ironically given Cedric's fate, ends on a more hopeful note. It tells us that, yeah, a superevil guy came back, a war broke out, and things are going to suck for the coming who-knows-how-long, but we can cope. If we're good and decent people, like Cedric, and we'll stick together, we will get through this. Compare that to the end of OotP - Sirius dead, Harry with some SERIOUS PTSD holy crap (well, not just Harry) - or HBP - Dumbledore killed by Snape wtf, and Harry taking on some probably-impossible quest. Compared to that, GoF is much, much more hopeful. GoF's optimism is especially poignant considering 9/11 happened during the Three-Year Summer. 'What's comin' will come, an' we'll meet it when it does.' What better sentiment to end a book on and spend three years with?
Alright, enough blathering. Onto the recap! Warning: this is STUPIDLY long because the book is stupidly long and I was still stuck in the "comment on every sentence!! mode. My OotP one should be.... slightly less lengthy. :p
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
It’s so much bigger! OMG. 636 pages. Heh, there’s a pricetag in the back – I bought it in a second-hand bookstore for 14,50 euro (back when I first started to collect them all in hardback, I didn't have that much spending money, so I was very happy to find one in a second-hand bookstore!).
There are still some kids’ reviews and letters but also ‘grown-up’ ones. Interesting that neither the back blurb nor the dustcover mention the Triwizard Tournament.
3 other books available, copyright 2000. Dedicated to Peter Rowling – brother? Dad?
1 – The Riddle House
First time no Harry in the first chapter!
This is soooo British. A little village with a manor nearby, and a murder! “In the next episode of Midsomer Murders…”
“The whole of Little Hangleton had seethed with shocked curiosity and ill-disguised excitement.” Love it.
I bet a lot of people thought this Tom Riddle was Chamber of Secrets’ Tom.
“Frank had come back from the war with a very stiff leg and a great dislike of crowds and loud noises.” PTSD? And of course the villagers immediately suspect him. Sigh.
“The Riddles all appeared to be in perfect health – apart from the fact that they were all dead.”
Wait a minute, who actually owns the house now? Some American (shades of Remains of the Day). Wait till he finds out some Dark Wizard camped out in his house for a while.
This must be so weird to kids expecting a boy wizard. “Who is this ancient gardener and why should I care?”
What are mullioned windows? Ah.
Ugh Peter, die. (It’s august, 2 weeks after PoA)
Love Frank’s “Well obviously Muggle and Quidditch and Ministry of Magic are codewords”
Peter really doesn’t want to use Harry – of course, he has a life debt to him now (wasn’t that also what killed him in TDH?).
“Bertha Jorkins’ disappearance will not go unnoticed.”
“By that time, my FAITHFUL servant will have rejoined us.”
Peter has neither brains nor loyalty, ouch.
“I will allow you to perform an essential task for me, one that many of my followers will give their right hand to perform.” Sigh.
Oh right, Bertha had a memory spell on her, courtesy of the Crouches.
Poor Frank. Babymort was the last thing he saw. :(
“A flash of green light, a rushing sound.” Dundundunn.
2 – The Scar
Harry’s Horcrux senses are tingling. Interesting, the first connection between them, 200 miles apart.
Nice subtle infodropping/recapping in the narrative as Harry worries.
“Voldemort, the most powerful Dark Wizard for a century.” Suck on that, Grindelwald.
“His powers gone, his life almost extinguished, Lord Voldemort had fled.” How, actually? In ghost-form?
“Still a forthnight to go” until the start of the next school year, so it’s half august now.
Hee, where DOES Dumbledore go during the summer? To Aberforth’s? Maybe he and Snape take cruises (although maybe not this summer as I bet Snape is still salty from last school year).
“Dear Professor Dumbledore, sorry to bother you but my scar hurt this morning. Yours sincerely, Harry Potter”.
“What he really wanted was someone like – someone like a PARENT.” Awww.
“For one glorious hour, Harry had believed he was leaving the Dursleys at last. … but the chance had been snatched away from him – Wormtail had escaped.” “It was doubly hard to return to the Dursleys knowing that he had so nearly escaped them forever.” WELL IF SOMEONE HADN’T BEEN AN IDIOT…
Sirius in the tropics, yay.
“Mega Mutilations Part 3” Uh sure that totally sounds like a legitimate videogame title.
“Do you know if curse scars sometimes hurt years afterwards?” Sirius is absolutely an authority on that, yeah…
Harry’s again omitting information so as not to look ‘weak’. Little Gryffindor.
3 – The Invitation
Of course Vernon reads the Daily Mail. And in case we forgot: Dudley is fat.
Wait, people have been sending Harry cakes – wouldn’t they go stale really fast? Also how does SIRIUS send a cake? (“Remus, be a dear…”)
Hee, Harry wants to say “so what?” but settles for looking “politely puzzled”.
So the Weasleys get tickets on SATURDAY for a match on MONDAY. That’s cutting things really close.
Aw, Molly and the stamps.
“Allowing Harry to go would make Harry happy, something Uncle Vernon had struggled against for thirteen years.” HARRY IS JUST A KID, JESUS.
Heh Sirius serving as the boogieman.
Yay he’s going to the Quidditch World Cup!
Gosh, Pigwidgeon is so cute. Lol tho: “Harry started at the word ‘Pig’, then looked up at the tiny owl now zooming around the lampshade on the ceiling. He had never seen anything that looked less like a pig. Maybe he couldn’t read Ron’s writing.”
Oh right, Percy works for the MoM now.
Yay happy Harry. Enjoy it while it lasts…
4 – Back to the Burrow
Ooo, this is the first time Petunia is meeting wizards again since her sister (ok and Hagrid but he didn’t really count back then).
Floo powder to a boarded-up fireplace! This whole scene is hilarious really.
“They’ve got an electric fire.”
“Really? Ecklectic, you say? With a plug?”
Surely they didn’t need to EXPLODE the damn thing…
First mention of Disapparition?
Aw, Arthur and his plug collection. And he’s shaming the Dursleys into being nice to Harry! Go Arthur!
Oh right, the magic candy. Haha..?
5 – Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes
Bill and Charlie! I forgot they were here!
Bill is “surprisingly cool”, heh. He works with curses, of course he’s cool. (In a 90s way.)
Yeah lol Dudley nearly died, very funny… Are wizard psycho? Also Arthur is more upset about ruined wizard-muggle relationships.
Hi Hermione. Her teeth are mentioned again for the first time since… PS?
Percy, if the noise bothers you, just move out. Also, standardizing cauldron thicknesses? Depressingly plausible. (I work in local government now, and… yeah)
“Ron’s old rat, Scabbers, was here no more.” Gosh, really.
So the children don’t have their own rooms. Who shared before when Charlie and Bill lived here? Ron and Ginny as the two youngest? Percy and Ron? I bet Ron shared because he’s the unfavorite.
Percy and Mr Crouch. “They’ll be announcing their engagement any day now.” Actually how does the wizarding world treat LGBT people? Do they have legal gay marriage or are they like “whatever floats your boat.”
Molly: “I don’t know what’s going to happen to [the twins], I really don’t.” Let’s… not tell her just yet.
Aw, the gnomes again. They’re kind of cute.
Ludo Bagman is mentioned (Ludo for someone in charge of games!).
Oi Percy stop badmouthing Bertha.
“We’ve got another big event to organize right after the world cup.” O RLY.
Of course Mrs Weasley disapproves of long hair and earrings.
… I plain forgot about Harry’s scar hurting, and that was only two chapters ago. At least Harry did, too!
Of course the twin send Percy dragon dung. Honestly I don’t entirely blame him for cutting contact with his family for a while. They’re kind of… annoying?
6 – The Portkey. Remember that word, kids.
Oh boy, Arthur dressing ‘muggle’.
“Why can’t we Apparate too?” Did the twins even LEARN yet? (No; the twins will this year.) Oh nice infodump on it. Splinching, ouch. Actually, did any of the Trio take any test? I plain forgot.
The whole organization of the Cup sounds fascinating and I want to know more about it.
Portkeys get explained, a few 100 pages before the 3th task.
Yay Amos and Cedric. Oooh Amos works for the Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures!
“Ced, that’s something to tell your grandchildren, that will. You beat Harry Potter!” Sob.
Aw, Cedric is so genuinely nice.
Lovegoods mention! They’ve been at the Cup a week already.
Man, I would HATE traveling by Portkey.
7 – Bagman and Crouch
Aw, the Muggle campsite owner.
Wizard tents with chimneys and weather-vanes! Hee, the sign says “Weezly”. Also I want a wizard tent. The tent is my least favorite part of camping.
Oh right, the tents are borrowed from Perkins and are decorated like Mrs Figgs’ house. All the theories that they are related somehow.
Arthur is 100% enjoying this living like Muggles thing, it’s adorable.
I love all the international wizards, and the little kids. Great atmosphere.
Krum looks “really grumpy” according to Hermione. He’ll get better.
The wizard in a nightgown! “I like a healthy breeze around my privates, thanks.” Classic.
First we hear of other wizard schools. Also Unspeakables from the Department of Mysteries are mentioned!
Hi Ludo, looking like a giant bee/wasp. “Agatha Timms has put up half shares in her EEL FARM on a week-long match.” Please tell me that’s not a really thing. Wait, it is.
The twins betting on the match, that’s going to bite them in the ass later.
Mr Crouch speaks 200 languages, according to Percy (who is “positively writhing with excitement” at the mention of Crouch. WTF).
Oh shit, Crouch DOES have a toothbrush moustache? Huh. “He could have passed as a bankmanager.” Orrrr…
“Oh… yes, thank you, Weatherby.” Aw.
Carpets WOULD be great for families though, Ali Bashir (sigh) is right.
Something is going to happen at Hogwarts…
The merchandise! I love this. And aw, Ron’s mini Krum. Although, omnioculars are 10 galleons each??! Damn. (When did Harry get cash to buy this stuff?)
“It’s time! Come on, let’s go!”
8 – The Quidditch World Cup
Ugh why wasn’t this in the film. Man, the way this is written, *I* want to go.
Winky! … and I forgot how annoying her broken speech is. “Dobby was weirder” is harsh though, Harry – on Dobby, that is.
Oh right, the mascot parade coming up.
The Malfoys!
Isn’t there a translation spell? Would be quite useful right now. Or just hire a translator, Fudge…
“Welcome to the final of the four hundred and twenty-second” Hunger Games! I mean Quidditch World Cup.
… somehow I forgot the Veela were Bulgarian? I thought they were French. Huh. And they sound like pretty boring mascots for the women and gay men in the audience. And very dangerous, too.
Leprechauns! 100% Irish stereotypes.
“Viktor Krum was thin, dark, and sallow skinned, with a large curved nose and thick black eyebrows.” “He looked like an overgrown bird of prey.” So he’s related to Snape?
I hate that they movie cut the game. I wanted to see the Wronski Feint in action!
“The leprechauns had … formed a giant hand which was making a very rude sign indeed across the pitch towards the Veela.” I hate that they cut this too. :p (And I only just now realised what they were making; that completely went over my head the first few times around.)
Ouch, Bludger to the face. And the Irish Seeker has the worst luck ever – no luck o’ the Irish.
“KRUM GETS THE SNITCH – BUT IRELAND WIN – Good Lord, I don’t think any of us were expecting that!” Well actually.
Heh, the Bulgarian MoM can speak English.
Krum “was still holding the Snitch”. Does he get to take it home or do they always use the same Snitch at every World Cup game?
9 – The Dark Mark. Dundundunnn.
Heh poor Molly, maybe expected a few days of peace and quiet, but the match is over in about an hour.
Oh dear, ominous change in atmosphere… Also ugh, nice, add some sexual humiliation too, stupid Death Eaters…
“Ron told Draco to do something that Harry knew he would never say in front of Mrs Weasley.”
“Ou est Madame Maxime? Nous l’avons perdu – “ Huh, Beauxbatons students. Also I understand that sentence now! (“Where is Madame Maxime? We have lost her.” Also, HOW.)
Hey, Winky pulling an invisible Barty away.
Hermione’s starting SPEW right here.
Ron is so susceptible to Veela. Interesting. (Well he ís older than Harry.)
MORSMORDRE. Which is an awesome word to say.
Oops, wrong place, wrong time.
“No non-human creature is permitted to carry or use a wand.” Ouch.
Poor winky. :(
Priori Incantato!
“I trust you remember the many proofs I have given that I despise and detest the Dark Arts and those who practice them?” Oh yes.
“I is seeing no one, sir…” True.
“This means clothes.” D: Now Hermione is REALLY starting SPEW.
Aw Bill got hurt.
Of course Hermione read a book called The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts.
Nice infodump on the Dark Mark and Death Eaters.
Yech, DE’s having ‘a bit of fun’…
10 – Mayhem at the Ministry. ??? No return to Hogwarts yet?
“They were able to take an old rubber tyre back to Stoadshead Hill before the sun had really risen.” It makes sense in context. :p Also they spend less than 24 hours away from home!
Aw Molly.
How did the Prophet publish something in FOUR HOURS? Also Rita Skeeter is mentioned.
“We should be stamping out vampires!” Are vampires really that huge a problem?
“On Sunday morning I woke up with my scar hurting again.” That was Saturday, Harry dear.
Mundungus Fletcher is mentioned again.
Bill plays chess with Ron! Aw.
“The fat’s really in the fire now.” ? OK?
Oh gosh, the dress robes. At least alter them a bit, Molly! Geez. “Why is everything I own rubbish?!” said Ron. Because your mom apparently hates you.
11 – Aboard the Hogwarts Express. Finally.
Huh, I forgot how much Amos is in this book.
Mad-Eye is mentioned! A mysterious ‘break-in’ at his house. Aurors are mentioned, Dark-Wizard catcher. So no Hit Wizards?
Yay Hogwarts Express.
“Yeah, I sort of wish I was back at Hogwarts this year,” says Bill. He would have met Fleur one year sooner.
Haha everybody is being so annoyingly mysterious.
“I’m very glad they changed the rules,” says Molly. Well except for Harry.
Some infodumping on Beauxbatons and Durmstrang.
“Shame [Malfoy’s] mother likes him.” That’s going to save Harry’s ass in a few years.
Aw Neville.
Of course Malfoy knows about the Triwizard Tournament.
Horseless carriages – for now!
12 – The Triwizard Tournament
Ugh Peeves. Nearly causing McGonagall to slip and fall.
Yay the Great Hall. Needs more Lupin. (First mention! “Harry’s favorite teacher by far had been Professor Lupin, who had resigned last year.”)
Oh right, Dennis Creevey. Heh, he fell in the lake and loved it.
New Sorting Hat song.
“For a fleeting second, Harry had a strange desire to join the Ravenclaw table, too.” Hormones, Harry, get used to them.
Ugh the Twins hiss at an eleven-year old Slytherin. Grow up.
OK Dennis is adorable.
Natalie McDonald joins Gryffindor.
Ron is hangry.
Right, house-elves at Hogwarts.
“As ever, I would like to remind you all that the Forest in the grounds is out-of-bounds to students, as is the village of Hogsmeade to all below third year.” Except for detention!
No Quidditch Cup? Dundundunnn… (Oliver graduated at the right time!)
Mad-Eye interrupting Dumbledore. Dramatic with lighting and everything. :p Damn what an introduction though.
“I am NOT joking, Mr Weasley, though, now you mention it, I did hear an excellent one over the summer about a troll, a hag and a leprechaun who all go into a bar – “ Not the right moment, Dumbles.
So they were all preparing for the TWT during PoA.
Only 17+ students allowed…
“Neville’s memory was notoriously poor.” Actually, was his memory wiped or is his memory just naturally bad? Hmm he has no problem memorizing all kinds of plants..
Heh Harry’s having his first wet dream?
13 – Mad-Eye Moody
Bubotuber Pus. Such a fun word to say. Also poor Elois Midgen.
Oh God the Blast-Ended Skrewts. “What is the POINT of them.” Draco does have a point there.
Hermione is pro-elf but anti-skrewt. Just because they’re less cuddly...! :p
LOL wait, Harry is not born “under the baleful influence of Saturn” but Snape IS.
“Can I have a look at Uranus too, Lavender?” Oh Ron.
Malfoy you asshole. Enjoy being a ferret. … ok the bouncing is a bit much.
“Moody, we NEVER use Transfiguration as a punishment! Surely Professor Dumbledore told you that?”
“He might’ve mentioned it, yeah.” Why was it necessary to mention it at all?!
He drags Malfoy off to Snape. Fun.
“He KNOWS, man,” said Lee.
“Knows what it’s like to be out there DOING IT.”
“He’s seen it all.”
Far out!
14 – The Unforgivable Curses
“Professor Snape, who seemed to have obtained new levels of vindictiveness over the summer.” I’m sure that had nothing to do with a certain ex-prisoner of Azkaban. He’s strangely wary of Moody though.
The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection. So I guess they cover dark creatures in the first three years, then starting in fourth year they begin covering practical stuff?
Lupin Mention #2
Moody has a point that they need to know what the curses look like.
CONSTANT VIGILANCE.
Neville and the Cruciatus curse. :( OH SHIT AND BARTY TORTURED HIS PARENTS AND HE’S NOW TEACHING NEVILLE WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE. WTF JO ROWLING.
Poor Neville. :(
Avada Kedavra…
I took a few self-defense classes a while ago and that teacher confirms what Moody says here: the best self-defense is not getting into a situation where you need it.
Hogwarts definitely needs a counsellor. Poor, poor Neville. At least Moody is nice here, quite Remussy. Which is a thought I had seconds before Harry made the comparison. :p (Lupin Mention #3)
Heh, making up the Divination predictions. Fun.
Fred and George are doing something… mysterious.
“You seem to be drowning twice.”
“Not ‘spew’. It’s S – P – E – W.”
“They LIKE being enslaved.” Sure but did he have to put it like... that?
Hermione. Why. Just. Why.
So Sirius is hearing strange rumours – how? (Edit: in the final chapters Dumbledore confirms he’s been writing to Sirius, too.)
Harry, stop beating yourself up, you’re not Remus. Sirius is his own person.
Aw, Neville can’t sleep either. :(
15 – Beauxbatons and Durmstrang
LOL, ‘no actually I was wrong, stay away’. Like Sirius would fall for that.
“Dumbledore wants you taught what [the Imperius Curse] feels like.” Harsh. But it makes sense, Dumbledore knows there’s a 99% chance Voldemort is coming back.
Of course Harry can fight it though. OHH HE’S A HORCRUX, DUH, THERE’S TWO VOICES IN HIS HEAD. It’s like Agnes Nitt in Discworld!
“Excuse me, I don’t like people just because they’re handsome,” said Hermione indignantly.
Ron gave a loud false cough, which sounded oddly like ‘Lockhart!’
Hogwarts gets a good cleaning to prepare for the visitors.
Of course Hermione knows the needed info on the Triwizard Tournament.
Hogwarts: A History has over a thousand pages?! Also Hermione doesn’t like it much anymore. She is the WORST Social Justice Warrior, completely refusing to see another point of view.
Heh Sirius, “nice try, Harry”. So dry.
“You can’t Apparate inside Hogwarts ground, how often do I have to tell you?!” Try another few thousand times.
Madame Maxime! Dumbly-dorrr, heh.
Why are none of them wearing cloaks? Scotland! October! Hello!
The Durmstrang students win the dramatic entrance price.
Karakroff, of course.
“Harry – it’s Krum!”
16 – The Goblet of Fire. Title drop!
Page 218, Halloween chapter!
Hey, the oldest students wear lipstick? Where do they get it?
The Beauxbatons students stand when Madame Maxime enters, huh. Hermione’s judging the shit out of them, ugh.
Hi Fleur. Ron is VERY impressed.
Why is the Goblet in a CASKET. It sounds ominous.
“A large, roughly hewn wooden cup.” Ahem.
“The placing of your name in the Goblet constitutes a binding magical contract.” First of all what’s the wizarding world’s obsession with binding contracts, and secondly why didn’t anyone else ask someone older to put their name in! (Suddenly there’s 200 different schools in Europe, haha.)
Oi Karkaroff, staring is rude.
Halloween is on a Saturday, but so was last years! (Harry had tea with Remus then because Ron and Hermione were off to Hogsmeade.) Maybe they always have the celebration on a Saturday? Or Jo is just bad at continuity and/or math.
“I would have done it [late at night] if it had been me.” Don’t say that too loud, Harry.
Heh ancient twins.
Why is everybody bashing Cedric for being handsome? Geez.
Augh Hagrid in love. Also he wears yellow socks? (He darns them with yellow yarn.) Matches his sweater from PS I guess. He looks at Madame Maxime the same way he looked at Norbert, ew.
Mr Crouch has NO idea his son is only feet away.
Yay Krum first champion.
Yay Fleur second champion.
Yay Cedric third champion.
“Well, now we have our three champions.” Dumbledore must be WTFing so hard at the 4th slip of paper. “Harry Potter.”
17 – The Four Champions.
I almost feel sorry for Dumbledore? Not only are things not going as expected, but it’s Harry in the danger zone once again. (Snape must be like “OF COURSE”)
Everyone is going WTF and Snape is taking this moment to bash Harry.
“Did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire, Harry?” Dumbledore asked CALMLY.
(Huh Moody’s not here?)
Sure, Dumbledore made a mistake with the age line, obviously…
Oh there’s Moody. Nice, suggesting exactly what he did but because he is the paranoid one nobody believes him.
First task is on November 24.
The Gryffindor Common Room is an introvert’s nightmare.
Aw Ron. :(
18 – The Weighing of the Wands. Oh right.
At least Hermione is supportive and sensible. And she’s being the feeling translator. “Isn’t it obvious? He’s jealous!”
Yeah, write to Sirius!
Aw, the ‘puffs feel like Harry stole their thunder AGAIN. A House full of Rons. Also Justin hates Harry again.
What is the PURPOSE of the Skrewts? And why is there no oversight on what Hagrid is teaching? I would have been fried or blasted in five minutes.
“Everythin’ seems ter happen ter you, doesn’ it?” Yes. “That was the reason, according to Hermione, that Ron was no longer talking to him.” Welcome to your own life, Harry.
Oh yeah, the Cedric badges. POTTER STINKS.
Densaugeo! Dens – teeth, augeo – augment? Anyway Hermione gets beaver teeth.
“And what is all this noise about?” said a soft, deadly voice. Snape had arrived.”
“I see no difference.” Die, Snape.
Heh, Ron and Hermione shouting simultaneously in defense of Hermione. “[Snape] got the gist, however.” I should hope so!
Harry wants to Crucio Snape and/or ram his cauldron on his greasy head.
Oh hi Rita. Piss off.
“We have to check that your wands are fully functional.” Juuuuuust leaving that there.
Rita has a heavy jaw and thick fingers and large mannish hands. Ugh Jo. And hey the Quick-Quotes Quill.
This article is full of alternative facts.
Oh, Dumbles was at the International Confederation of Wizards’ Conference over the summer. No cruiseship for him. Also Rita described him as an obsolete dingbat.
Hi Ollivander hi.
“An ‘air from ze ‘head of a Veela. One of my grandmuzzers.”
Cedric polished his wand last night. OK.
Gregorovitch is mentioned.
“Mr Ollivander spent much longer examining Harry’s wand than anyone else’s.”
Sirius conversation on the 22nd of November.
19 – The Hungarian Horntail
Harry has worse nerves than before his first Quidditch match.
Ugh Rita’s article. Hermione’s taking it extremely well – she’s had practice with bullying?
Aw Harry misses Ron :( They’re a Trio for a reason!
“It is a strange thing, but when you are dreading something, and would give anything to slow down time, it has a disobliging habit of speeding up.” Ain’t that the truth.
Huh supernatural creatures come to Hogsmeade.
The first task is on Tuesday November 24.
Moody prefers to bring his own drinks ‘in case of poison’. Sure.
Midnight date with Hagrid! And… Madame Maxime? “Bong-sewer,” says Hagrid, polyglot.
DRAGONS.
Hi Charlie. “I don’t envy the one who gets the Horntail.” Sigh.
Molly’s falling for the Rita article hook, line and sinker.
Yay Sirius yay. He got a haircut! And a bath. “He looked younger, much more like the only photograph Harry had of him, which had been taken at the Potter’s wedding.” Enjoy it while it lasts. And aw, Harry finally gets some therapy.
The inmates at Azkaban are such gossips!
Sirius is ALMOST right about the Moody ‘break-in’.
Boo Ron interrupting. And boo Harry hating him!
20 – The First Task
Just send Sirius a letter asking what he meant to say before they were interrupted, geez.
“Men who love dragons too much.” Bit suggestive, that book title.
“He supposed he must have been happy with his parents too.”
Duh Harry, of course Cedric is suspicious. You’re supposed to be competitors.
“Harry wouldn’t have let his worst enemies face those monsters unprepared. Well, perhaps Malfoy or Snape.” Heh.
Whoo visit to the DADA office! Gosh how odd that Moody’s Dark detectors keep picking up suspiciousness. (Foe glass!) At least he helps Harry figure things out. Accio!
Page 304 First Task. PS and CoS are already done by now, PoA almost.
Why is Ludo wearing his Wasp robes.
Of course Harry draws the Horntail and number 4. Nicely atmospheric description of his waiting time, though.
“This was just another Quidditch match.” Uh.
“Well this is going to shorten the odds on Mr Potter.” Ludo would know.
“Last year Dementors, this year dragons, what are they going to bring into this school next?” Umbridge.They're bringing Umbridge next.
“Harry, whoever put your name in that Goblet – I – I reckon they’re trying to do you in!” Aw Ron.
Aw Hermione. Aw the whole school.
Second task Februari 24. (Third on May 24? Every three months?)
21 – The House-Elf Liberation Front
Page 316, PoA is finished by now!
“There’s no way any of the other tasks are going to be that dangerous, how could they be?” Oh Ron.
Shrieking egg! Also canary Neville!
Hagrid still with the Skrewts.
Oh hi Dobby. The kitchens sound awesome. Aw, Winky in her matching clothes, even with a fetching hat. And heh, Dobby negotiated his wages DOWN.
Winky’s mom and grandma worked for the Crouches. Actually, how do House-Elves reproduce? Is there like a breeding program? Do they lay eggs?
Aw, Ron likes Dobby.
“Percy wouldn’t recognize a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing Dobby’s teacosy.” Classic line.
22 – The Unexpected Task
Hee Ron and Harry having a fake-wand swordfight. Oh 14-year olds.
The Yule Ball!
“Professor McGonagall, with her hair in a tight bun, looked as though she had never let her hair down in any sense.” Hey, she was married once.
Mandatory asking a girl out. Wait, does it have to be a girl? Could Harry ask Ron?
“It was amazing how many girls Hogwarts suddenly seemed to hold.”
“Why do they move in packs? How’re you supposed to get one on their own to ask them?”
“Lasso one?”
The Weird Sisters!
Fred asking Angelina to the ball was cuter in the movie (god I love Harry spotting Snape coming up as Ron talks to Hermione, trying to shush Ron and getting a smack anyway because it's Snape and he's Harry. And at 1:01 someone lights their homework on fire!).
“Giggling should be made illegal.”
“Wangoballwime?” Awkward.
LOL of course Cedric is suddenly useless and stupid now.
Aw, Ginny had hoped to go to the ball with Harry. And aw Neville asked Hermione (I forgot about that). Cue Ron smoothtalking Hermione: “you ARE a girl!”
Lavender ALMOST went with Ron! Give it two more years.
23 – The Yule Ball
God, Hermione is so CATTY to Fleur!
“Twitchy little ferret, aren’t you, Malfoy?”
Sirius sounds exactly like Moody. Well yeah. He’s got a point though.
Dobby the horrible alarm clock. Aw, he has a Christmas bauble on his tea cosy.
Why did Ron get VIOLET socks? What happened to maroon? And does Molly just hate her son?
Ron is immediately more focused on Hermione than on her actual date.
Hee Draco looks like a vicar. And Krum is accompanied by “a pretty girl in BLUE robe Harry didn’t know.”
McGonagall wears RED tartan? I always pictured her in green. Damn movies.
Heh Hermione had a princess transformation!
Percy is here?
Zomg, Krum speaks!
The Room of Requirement! Chamberpots! Doesn’t Dumbledore have his own bathroom though? Him running around Hogwarts in the middle of the night looking for somewhere to pee is so... undignified for a Headmaster. If the story was true anyway, and considering it's Dumbledore, that's debatable.
“Her-my-oh-nee.”
Oh Ron, you 14-year old boy. Although FFS Snape is somehow being even more immature than Ron, blasting rose bushes apart. Bet nobody asked him to the dance. (Also Karkaroff is worried about their Marks.)
… Hagrid romantic moment. “Harry tried to interest himself in a beetle crawling along.” Squash it!!
HOW DOES GIANT/HUMAN… STUFF EVEN WORK?!
“I ‘ave big bones!” Sure.
Take a bath with the egg Harry, duh.
“Next time there’s a ball, ask me before someone else does and not s a last resort!”
This is 100% like all school dances I ever went to. Emotional fall-out and all.
24 – Rita Skeeter’s Scoop
“They can’t ALL be horrible... it’s the same sort of prejudice that people have towards werewolves… it’s just bigotry, isn’t it?” Oh NOW she’s anti werewolf bigotry?
Of course Harry is too proud to accept Cedric’s help.
Ah, professor Grubbly-Plank! And the unicorn!
Uggghhh Rita. (Kind of surprised she didn’t drag Remus into this, it’s only been six months since the fallout from PoA.)
Krum swims in the lake, brrrr.
Hmmm Mr Crouch is missing…
Aaaaand Hermione pissed off Rita. Smart.
Hee Dumbledore the therapist. “I have gone temporarily deaf and haven’t any idea what you said.”
“Really Hagrid, if you’re holding out for universal popularity, I’m afraid you will be in this cabin for a very long time.”
Aberforth and the goats! Although the sneer about not being able to read really wasn’t necessary, Dumbles.
Dumbledore will accept anyone at Hogwarts as long as they’ve got the talent and no matter their family. “It is our choices…”
25 – The Egg and the Eye
I want the prefect’s bathroom. (Wait, they have pool parties? What is going on at this school?! This is just ASKING for NC17 fics)
“Harry … pulled off his pyjamas, slippers and dressing gown.” In that sequence?
Myrtle! You perv!
Siren song. I’m hearing the movie’s.
The mermaid in the picture “giggling and showing off and flashing her fins”. Just her fins?
Vernon and Petunia never gave Harry swimming lessons. :( Hoping he’d drown! WTF!
Dundundunnn Barty Crouch in Hogwarts?!
Oh shit he gets caught by… Moody and Snape? I forgot about this scene. Yeah, Snape, wearing a grey nightshirt. Oooh and ‘Moody’ stole the Polyjuice supplies, that’s right. “Who’d want to break into your office?” he asks Snape, misdirecting.
“Spots that never come off.” ‘Moody’ would know.
Once again Snape is inches away from catching a Potter and foiled at the last minute.
So… does the Map also account for Polyjuice? Otherwise that’s going to be awkward.
Lupin mention #4.
Noooo don’t let Moody borrow the Map!
“You ever thought of a career as an Auror, Potter?”
26 – The Second Task
Page 416, pff.
Heh, poor Flitwick and the Banishing Charms. Cushions flying everywhere.
They’re pretty consistently wearing hats in the books.
Lupin mention #5. And now Hermione is all “Dumbledore was right to trust Lupin”. What happened to "if I had been smarter I would have told someone", huh??
Aww unicorn foals.
“What if a teacher had once mentioned how to breathe underwater?” Then Hermione would know.
“Powers you never knew you had and what to do with them now you’ve wised up.” Sounds like an interesting book.
… I plain forgot DOBBY gave him the Gillyweed. Neville actually makes more sense.
Ew, eating the Gillyweed. Although, gills! I want gills! Except without the huge dark lake or the grindylows.
Oooh mermaid cave painting.
Harry stop being such a hero. As if the others would really be left to die.
LOL Ron. “Wet, this, isn’t it?” Really!
Aww Percy was worried. “He looked very white and somehow much younger than usual.”
Of course Dumbledore speaks Mermish.
Harry “was now heartily wishing he’d left all three girls tied to the statue.” Heh.
Hermione’s pissed Fleur kissed Harry and Ron.
“You weren’t being thick after all – you were showing moral fibre.” Well he IS in Gryffindor.
Third task June 24.
27 – Padfoot Returns. Yay.
Ron’s enjoying his time in the limelight.
Oh shit the Witch Weekly article. “She’s made you out to be some sort of… of scarlet woman!”
Snape… just grow up. Please.
Oh hey Veritaserum.
Yay Padfoot. “I’m pretending to be a loveable stray.” Wait don’t wizards have pounds? Wizard animal control?
Crouch deserves to be deadly ill for sacking his house elf? Sure, Hermione.
“If you want to know what a man is like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.” I mean, I get where he’s coming from, but Kreacher, Sirius?
Ew, Crouch send Sirius to Azkaban. Also Sirius doesn’t sugarcoat or hide things cause they’re ‘too young’.
God the war was a paranoid time. “Times like that bring out the best in some people, and the worst in others.” Aurors given new powers, to kill rather than capture. That doesn’t sound familiar at all…
Crouch fought violence with violence.
“The boy was definitely caught in the company of people I’d bet my life were Death Eaters.” He’d know. “He can’t have been more than nineteen.” Sirius was 23 at most…
Azkaban is a nightmare. :/ Although interesting that Dementors bury inmates, they might as well have tossed them out to sea (although I guess the Muggles would start asking questions about the bodies being washed ashore.)
Yeah let’s discuss Snape, great idea with this crowd. “He was famous for being fascinated by the Dark Arts, oily, greasy-haired kid.”
“The Lestranges – they’re a married couple – they’re in Azkaban.”
Kind of odd Sirius doesn’t appear to know about the Dark Mark though?
“I just can’t see [Dumbledore] letting Snape teach at Hogwarts if he’d ever worked for Voldemort.”
“Call me Snuffles.” Aw.
28 – The Madness of Mr Crouch
Aw Dobby and the socks. And oh gosh drunk Winky. And Mr Crouch has some odd secret…
Augh the hatemail to Hermione. “gO Back where you cAME from MUggle.”
Niffles! Fun class! Although poor, poor Ron. :(
“Maybe [Rita] had you bugged.” Close!
“Aren’t you two EVER going to read Hogwarts: A History?”
“What’s the point? You know it off by heart, we can just ask you.”
GDI Molly, Hermione’s Ron’s friend too!
Noooo they ruined the Quidditch pitch.
Heh Harry has to defend/explain himself to Krum.
Mr Crouch is not doing very well…
GDI SNAPE STOP BEING SO USELESS. GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS FOR ONCE.
Dumbledore to the rescue! Casting a Patronus to send a message! And what a COINCIDENCE Moody is here!
Oops, don’t insult Dumbledore in front of Hagrid.
Ew Hagrid, “You can’t trust foreigners.” Wizards are so casually racist.
29 – The Dream. ???
The twins have some mysterious business.
Aw mandatory staying indoors for Harry.
Training montage! I forgot all this stuff.
Heh Trelawney’s model of the solar system has NINE planets! And right, the dream during Divination!
Ugh Peter was going to be eaten alive by Nagini?
Trelawney, piss off with your ~clairvoyant vibrations~
Hee Dumbledore’s password is Cockroach Cluster.
“Madame Maxime is a very able headmistress – and an excellent dancer.”
Fudge is racist, but what else is new.
30 – The Pensieve (hersenpan in Dutch! A word used for the skull which translates to 'brainpan'.The Dutch edition has some pretty clever translations)
Yay Fawkes.
‘Hmm a mysterious liquid in a bowl, let’s stick my face in it.’
Interesting to compare it with the Diary.
Oooh Karkaroff, spewing names. Antonin Dolohov, Evan Rosier, Travers, Mulciber, Rookwood, Snape.
Oh shit, the Bagman trial. Git.
BELLATRIX. Being a creepy cultist. The Barty part is affecting, though.
“I sometimes find, and I’m sure you know the feeling, that I simply have too many thoughts and memories crammed into my head.” I know that feeling.
Ah, that age-old mystery of WHO KISSED FLORENCE BEHIND THE GREENHOUSE?!
Dumbledore, if you’ve been in contact with Sirius and suggested that cave, MAYBE YOU COULD HAVE ARRANGED FOR SOME FOOD, TOO. Or have him camp out with Aberforth or ANYTHING ELSE BUT A LITERAL CAVE.
Frank Bryce finally gets mentioned again.
The wizarding world is so insular…
Poor Neville. :( Worse than having dead parents.
“What made you think [Snape] really stopped supporting Voldemort?”
“That, Harry, is a matter between professor Snape and myself.”
Aw don’t spill Neville’s secret to others.
31 – The Third Task
Page 526, 110 left to go!
“[Dumbledore] trusts Snape? He really trusts Snape, even though he knows he was a Death Eater?” He trusts Snape with his life, in fact.
Harry “felt a rush of anger and hate towards the people who had tortured Mr and Mrs Longbottom.” Save it for later.
Training montage again!
“[Voldemort] cannot hope to lay hands on you while you’re under Dumbledore’s protection.” Good point, especially the last bit.
Oh fuck off Rita. And Draco too. (Werewolf mention, does that count as a Lupin mention?) Yay Hermione figured Rita out.
Aw, Molly and Billy are Harry’s family. ^^ And lol, Fleur is already eyeing Bill appreciatively.
Ooh Molly and Arthur sneaking out at night, back in their Hogwarts days.
Huh Amos dislikes Harry. At least his wife and Cedric are nice.
The Willow was planted after Molly left school. Huh. Just how much older are the Weasleys than the Marauders? And the gamekeeper before Hagrid was named Ogg.
Aw, Percy is stressed.
“I must say, it makes a lovely change, not having to cook.” A) magic, B) are Arthur’s hands lame? (Also ugh that Molly really believed the Skeeter piece.)
The description of the Third Task is pretty exciting.
Hey, so Patronii (??) can be cast with just happy thoughts/imaginations rather than happy memories? (Also lucky that they covered Boggarts last year.)
The upside-down thing is neat.
If Krum does the Cruciatus curse while Imperio’d, does it mean HE is capable of it? Doesn’t it need pure hatred? Or is he more a conduit of Barty since he is under the Imperius curse? I want Unforgivable Curse logistics please.
The sphinx! The riddle is actually pretty cute (… if you know the answer).
Ouch, Harry’s leg.
“Stop being noble.” What if Cedric HAD though? That would have ruined the whole plan. Barty is gambling everything on Cedric and Harry being the perfect Hufflepuff and Gryffindor. Speaking of, they’re having a battle of who’s being the noblest right now.
Cliffhanger! And on the right-hand page too!
32 – Flesh, Blood and Bone
Hum, the Cup is a Portkey…
“Kill the spare.” Jesus. “Cedric was lying spread-eagled on the ground beside [Harry]. He was dead.”
Ew Babymort.
“Bone of the father, unknowingly given, you will renew your son.” “Flesh of the servant, willingly given, you will revive your master.” Jesus Christ. “Blood of the enemy, forcibly taken, you will resurrect your foe.” HOW IS THIS A KIDS’ BOOK.
Nekkid Voldemort.
“Lord Voldemort had risen again.” Page 558.
33 – The Death Eaters
Voldemort “began examining his body.” Ew. Also how did he get his wand back?
“How many will be brave enough to return when they feel it? And how many will be foolish enough to stay away?”
And like all good villains he starts monologuing.
Tom Riddle Sr “didn’t like magic”. No, he just didn’t like rape potions.
“I do not forgive. I do not forget.”
Wormtail returned “not out of loyalty but out of fear for his old friends.” How is Voldemort LESS scary??
Silver hand!
“Lucius, my slippery friend.” Ew.
“When Azkaban is broken open, the Lestranges will be honored beyond their dreams.” I dunno, I bet Bellatrix has some pretty wild dreams.
Oh hi Macnair.
“One, too cowardly to return… One, who I believe has left me forever… and one who remains my most faithful servant.” Oh the endless discussions on those first two.
Lucius: “We beg you to tell us… how you have achieved this – this miracle… how you managed to return to us.” Oh don’t MAKE him talk.
“What I was, even I do not know.” A Horcrux. You were a Horcrux.
How did ghostdemort cross the Channel? Oh right, he can possess people. Hey Quirrel is namedropped.
How dare Voldemort call rats filthy.
“Wormtail … convinced Bertha Jorkins to accompany him on a nighttime stroll.” How?!
“Now untie him, Wormtail, and give him back his wand.” STUPID.
34 – Priori Incantatem (Not incantato? Singular?)
“Come, the niceties must be observed.”
Ooh do they hear phoenix song because of their wand cores?
Battle of wills.
The sequence is wrong! James comes out BEFORE Lily even though he was killed first! (Also these ghosts are surprisingly self-aware.)
Whew, they escaped… Well, Harry did.
35 – Veritaserum
This moment is so awful in the movie. :( Poor Amos!
Fuck off Fudge.
Wow Moody overruled Dumbledore. At least conjure a stretcher or something! Harry’s leg is broken!
“I know who the Death Eater is,” says ‘Moody’. I’d think so, yeah.
“It was I who did that.” (Name, Goblet.) Another villain monologue.
Hang on, if he entered Harry under another school, wouldn’t it have shown up on the piece of parchment? Or did he enter him under Hagworts and his handwriting was lousy enough that nobody noticed?
“Decent people are so easy to manipulate.” Ouch.
You know, this could have been so much easier if you evil guys weren’t so bloody dramatic.
I dunno if Voldemort will be happy if someone else kills Harry…
Yay Dumbledore, McGonagall and Snape! And Dumbledore is scary.
“He needs to understand.” Very Remus.
Sirius is in the pumpkin patch.
Aw, real Moody. :( I do love active, effective Dumbledore.
Barty Crouch! Dundundunnn. I do love the way Jo wrote the Veritaserum dialogue. Short, businesslike sentences. Although how did Wormtail and Barty make Polyjuice potion in less than two weeks?
And Dumbledore finds out about the Map. (Wait, I thought he already knew? Maybe he’s just playing dumb for the interrogation.)
…. Ew, so Bone Crouch Sr was in the Niffler patch during the lesson?! (Ah, no, Barty put it in afterwards.)
36 – The Parting of the Ways
Aw, Dumbledore’s voice shaking slightly. :(
Heh, I wonder if Sirius has been talking to his greatgreatgranddad while in Dumbledore’s office.
Dumbledore is right, better to confront it now rather than let it fester.
The gleam of triumph in Dumbledore’s eyes! The YEARS of debate about that!
“He could see Cedric emerging, see the old man, Bertha Jorkins… his mother… his father…” The right sequence this time.
How does Sirius know what Priori Incantatum is? Also, poor guy.
Oh for fuck’s sake, Fudge brought a Dementor to the castle. (That was quick? How did he get one so fast?) McGonagall is piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissed.
“Dumbledore was staring hard at Fudge, as though seeing him plainly for the first time.” Fudge just lost his usefulness.
Rita Skeeter is basically Fox News.
“Snape made a sudden movement.” Why? Afraid Harry will name him?
Fudge is the most useless person ever.
“It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!”
Snape’s Dark Mark! Dundundunn. (Hang on, why didn’t Snape immediately go to Dumbledore when he felt the Mark return, when Harry was still in the graveyard? 'Albus, look, THIS JUST HAPPENED')
“I will be in touch with you tomorrow, Dumbledore, to discuss the running of this school.” UMBRIDGE IMMINENT.
Dumbledore gathering the troops. (Wait a second, Winky was still in Moody’s office when Barty got the Kiss?! Damn.)
Hang on, Snape did not recognize SiriusDog? Does he even know what he looks like? Huh.
“Lie low at Lupin’s for a while.” Lupin mention #6!
“Alert the old crowd.” Yaaay. And a secret mission for Snape!
And we end on a really depressing note with Harry. :( The poor kid is only 14!
37 – The Beginning
Oh gosh, Cedric’s parents. :((
Ooohh mysterious reason why Harry has to return to the Dursleys… Oh wait, Voldemort explained that already.
Is Prisoner literally the only year they had a full year of DADA classes? Well done Remus. (Ok only because the full moon just happened to fall on the very last day of exams.)
“What’s comin’ will come, an’ we’ll meet it when it does.” Why do I get slightly emotional over this?
“WHY was Dumbledore so convinced Snape was truly on their side?” Harry, you literally wouldn’t believe it.
Cho’s crying. Prepare yourself, Harry.
“It is my believe, however, that the truth is generally preferable to lies.” Except when it comes to Harry, but fair point.
Some world leaders need to be whacked with this speech.
“Remember Cedric Diggory.” Sob.
“We will see each uzzer again, I ‘ope.” Oh yes. And aw, Krum giving Ron an autograph!
Rita the Beetle! Evil Hermione.
“We could all do with a few laughs. I’ve got a feeling we’re going to need them more than usual before long.” Too damn right.
And that’s the start of the Three Year Summer!
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Date: 2017-06-13 11:04 am (UTC)How did I not know that?!
t definitely doesn't talk down to children.
And then the Three-Year Summer... I discussed the series with a couple of friends the other day, as I was rereading OotP, and of course we ended up talking about the Three Year Summer. One of them said that he felt that GoF was, from a fan perspective, the hardest point to have that 3-year gap. Voldemort had just come back, Dumbledore was gathering the troops, but we had no idea what was going to happen. I have to say, I feel the exact opposite...
ITA with this entire paragraph. It was the perfect time, and arguably what made the TYS work in the first place. PoA and OoTP ended with questions, especially OoTP, but in PoA we figured eventually Sirius and Harry would get to live with each other (*sad sigh*) and OoTP, well, everyone knew about Voldie now. GoF was the one where we really had no stinking clue what was going to happen.
n). One day I read an article about Warner Brothers squashing down on Harry Potter websites, and one British girl named Claire fighting back to be allowed to maintain her fansiteharrypotterguide.co.uk
I remember that. Wow, you know, from a 2017 perspective that's actually kind of adorable, because while sites aren't so much a thing anymore, there are about 400 fcebook pages for different interests. But it struck people as a threat back then. (Although actually, even then I remember criticism (of WB) coming from people who weren't even in fandom. It was definitely used as an example of big companies coming down on their own consumers. Especially as Claire would've been what, fourteen? So maybe it was less of a 2000's!internet thing and more WB thinking they were going to get away with suing a fourteen year old girl.
As far as TLC goes, I think because it was more of a news site, it probably stayed safe. I feel like they may have even tried for an endorsement with WB or... something. Of all the sites, they were definitely the most involved with people involved in the books and movies.
Really neat that it helped you with your English, too.
! I remember endless debates after Jo dropped in an interview that if she were to visit Hogwarts, she would go to a certain room mentioned in passing in GoF),
...I vaguely remember that! I should read some of Jo's old interviews.
PTSD? And of course the villagers immediately suspect him. Sigh.
My guess is it was meant to be PTSD, yeah. :( JKR is actually very good at portraying mental illness. (Speaking of the way she influenced our generation...)
Hee, where DOES Dumbledore go during the summer? To Aberforth’s? Maybe he and Snape take cruises (although maybe not this summer as I bet Snape is still salty from last school year).
I want a fic of that!
Wait, people have been sending Harry cakes – wouldn’t they go stale really fast? Also how does SIRIUS send a cake?
Yeah, I thought of that myself.
“Allowing Harry to go would make Harry happy, something Uncle Vernon had struggled against for thirteen years.” HARRY IS JUST A KID, JESUS.
I know.
Aw, Arthur and his plug collection. And he’s shaming the Dursleys into being nice to Harry! Go Arthur!
Yes, indeed! His (understandable) shock that the Dursleys didn't even want to say goodbye.
Heh, the Bulgarian MoM can speak English.
I think it's probable Fudge was a complete asshole from the get go ("my name is FUDGE, like the SWEET") and the Bulgarian Minister decided to have a field day with it.
Of course Hermione read a book called The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts.
It was probably an easy beach read for her.
Natalie McDonald joins Gryffindor.
*Heart tug*
“Neville’s memory was notoriously poor.” Actually, was his memory wiped or is his memory just naturally bad?
I always took it as his confidence, honestly. He was so afraid he'd forget something that he constantly forgot things.
Neville and the Cruciatus curse. :( OH SHIT AND BARTY TORTURED HIS PARENTS AND HE’S NOW TEACHING NEVILLE
That was pretty much my reaction.
The Beauxbatons students stand when Madame Maxime enters, huh. Hermione’s judging the shit out of them, ugh.
Wait, really? I don't remember that.
“Did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire, Harry?” Dumbledore asked CALMLY.
*Cracks up*
Although I always thought that movie!Dumbledore was just panicky. Which is the opposite of calm, mind, but I don't think he was meant to be angry, I think he was very aware that something wasn't right and trying to figure out what was going on. But the scene played out like he was angry as opposed to worried.
“Last year Dementors, this year dragons, what are they going to bring into this school next?” Umbridge.They're bringing Umbridge next.
Oh goody.
Hee Ron and Harry having a fake-wand swordfight. Oh 14-year olds.
I love the imagery there, too. And you know everyone was staring at them, and Hermione was glaring at them sideways while also making it abundantly clear that she was uninvolved in their shenanigans.
(On the other hand, she may have been enjoying their rekindled friendship.)
Fred asking Angelina to the ball was cuter in the movie
It really was, and I remember wishing that they hadn't shown the clip when they were showing previews for GoF! It wasn't really a huge spoiler or anything, but still a cute moment I would've preferred being surprised by. /Old gripes
HOW DOES GIANT/HUMAN… STUFF EVEN WORK?!
Let's just say I hope it's always a giant mother, because the alternative... ow.
The Willow was planted after Molly left school. Huh. Just how much older are the Weasleys than the Marauders?
I always figured at least six years older, given that Bill was born when MWPP would've been in their third year.
“What I was, even I do not know.” A Horcrux. You were a Horcrux.
Brr.
“We will see each uzzer again, I ‘ope.”
I wonder if JKR had plans for her at that point? She hints at Bill, but it's such a one-off line I don't think too many people pre-OoTP thought much of it, and she may have as well. Then again, OoTP does directly follow. But not for another three years!
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Date: 2017-06-15 03:16 pm (UTC)There was definitely a sense of "big corporation trying to attack the little guys", and there wasn't really a precedence of people running popular fansites. Web 2.0, with people adding their own stuff online (like on Wikipedia) was barely a thing then. Fansites were run by corporations themselves. So Claire was really a unique case of "how are we going to deal with this". By the time TLC and MN came around, I think WB was resigned to it and maybe even realised that they could use this to their advantage by giving them access and new information. It's a pretty interesting bit of internet history, really, and it's quite amazing how much things changed in only a few years. Like you said, now there are thousands of Facebook pages of whatever fandom you can think of.
Hermione is such a snob to/about the Beauxbaton students! And it's so weird because on the other hand she is so enthusiastic about France cause she went there in the summer before PoA. But I guess that doesn't extend to students from a rival school. :p
Yeah good question on how much she had planned for Fleur and Bill.