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And on we go!

'Phoenix' is a somewhat weird and... difficult book, I think. It came out in an odd period, three years after the fourth book (the longest break between books the series had). In those three years, fandom had increased EXPONENTIALLY, helped by the first two movies. Globally, 9/11 had happened and the world was in turmoil. with anti-islam and far-right movements on the rise; in Dutch politics, we had had the first political murder in literally centuries (less than a year later, we would have another murder that shook the country).
In my personal life, it was a time of changes. I had graduated highschool the year before and had gone on to college. In the Netherlands, if your marks at college are high enough you can go on to university (which is a higher education level than college). My marks were high enough, so a few weeks after OotP, I changed school *again*, this time to the university in Groningen, to start the study I would eventually graduate in. More importantly, I had met a lot of people online who would become friends, including one who would later become my housemate, and another one, a girl in America I would eventually even spend a week with even though we had never before seen each other in person. :p I had also started writing fanfiction, which made me realise that I might have a talent for this writing thing.

GoF was the first book I first read in English; OotP was the first one I only read in English (I MIGHT have leafed through the book to look up some name translations? Kingsley's was awful, he is Romeo Wolkenveldt, wtf). HP still not being that huge in the Netherlands at that time, at least the English version, I had ordered it in a bookstore in another city since I was afraid my local bookstore would not have it in time, and this one was the bookstore I had bought Quidditch Through The Ages and Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them, so I felt fairly sure they would have it, at least. So a daytrip with a friend was in order! The only problem was that *she* had ordered the book online, and it would be mailed to her house sometime in the afternoon. She didn't want to come home too early and have to wait for the book, so I was forced to spend an entire day walking around with the newest Harry Potter book in my bag. :p And it was the thickest, too! (The real kicker was that when we went to a random bookstore in that city, there were piles and piles of OotPses. So we hadn't even needed to order it. Sigh).
I read the book in two sittings, starting Saturday evening and finishing when I woke up on Sunday. I distinctly remember the chair I sat in, haha. And I recall feeling so weirded out when I started. I had been reading SO MANY FANFICS during the Three Year Summer that my mind sort of had to adjust to the fact that, no, this wasn't fanfic, this was the real deal. This was actually canon!
That probably accounts for the fact that I didn't immediately like it at first read, haha. My hopes were too high (read: not enough Remus in the book), and Harry was being... weird. I actually don't remember what I thought of Sirius's death - I think I was sad about it, but I was never really that attached to him so it was also a bit interesting, or something. I do remember that the next day, Monday, I had to go to my college for a bit to discuss something about my transfer to university, and all I could think of on the way was Sirius! So it definitely made an impression, haha. (On the other hand, I did know a girl online who set fire to her book because Sirius had been her favourite character...)

I was really curious how the reread of this book would be, because, like I said, it's a weird book. I don't overly LOVE it, I never really did - it's too long, the plot too unwieldy, Harry too shouty. But on the other hand it was my favourite book to rewrite from Remus's POV because there are some really juicy bits and the Order is just a wealth of possibility for cool scenes. Plus it was fun to have Remus and Sirius reunited, with the addition of Tonks (I was far from shipping R/T back then, I just liked her character - actually I don't think I started shipping them until I had written a lot of their interactions in my fic, a few months before HBP came out!) and Kingsley, who's just cool. But that's not enough for me to make me love the book. I loved bits of it, but not the whole thing.
I actually liked it better this time around than I thought I was going to! There are still some problems. The plotting is WONKY as heck, at some places it draaaaaaaaaaaaaags (I think at one point there's like six chapters covering only the first WEEK of the school year) while at other places the narration just blithely announces that several weeks passed, skipping ahead more than a month. Harry is still shouty, but I actually had more sympathy for him this time around. Just like rereading the Marauders at an older age made me realise what a bunch of arrested-development idiots they actually are, this time around I appreciated more that Harry is really just a teen (bad enough when it comes to shouting) with a serious case of PTSD (which makes it worse) which no one really seems to acknowledge (and double that). Doesn't help that Dumbledore's main line of thinking seems to be 'Don't worry your pretty little head about that', which is... less than helpful. Dumbledore does not really come off well in this (but then I'm of the Remus Lupin school of The More You Know The Better Prepared You Are (Except When It Comes To Remembering When Its A Full Moon Apparently, No I Am Never Gonna Let That Go).
I was also surprised at the... political depth of this book! I mentioned before that it came out in a, let's say, politically interesting time, and it's fascinating to see how OotP comments on that. We finally get to see the Ministry of Magic, which is a lovely bit of worldbuilding, and while GoF only hinted at the start of the second war, OotP is the one where the shit really hit the fan and the MoM gets involved. It was actually really cool to draw some parallels to the wizarding world, not just to George W Bush, but even to Trump and post-Brexit UK. Another layer that I pretty much missed the first time around, but looking back with older eyes I really noticed it. No wonder HP readers are more empathetic and aware!
And of course, OotP has THE BEST VILLAIN. Umbridge is THE WORST. I had forgotten how terrible she is, oh god. I don't know which corner of her brain Jo Rowling found her in, but it must have been a very nasty one. :p

Anyway, I could blather on for ages and ages, but let's not. :p Here's the recap! I did a more 'global' one this time around, not commenting on every little funny bit because if I did that the recap would get HUGE. Plus jotting down my thoughts slowed down my reading too much, and the book is big enough as it is... (How did I ever manage to read it in 24 hours? Damn)






Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Holy shit it’s HUGE. 766 pages! That’s 130 more than GoF.

No reviews anywhere, just accolades. Five books available, including PS in Latin and Welsh! Copyright 2003, Trademark WB. Dedicated to Neil, Jessica and David (oh right, Jo got married and had a kid during the Three Year Summer).

This was also the first one I first got as a hardcover, on the day it came out. There’s a bunch of things kept in it, including a train ticket from the day I bought the book, and a postcard from the friend I mentioned in my PoA recap, the one with the crappy ex-husband; the postcard was from when they were still happy together. Weird to see).


1 – Dudley Demented.
Oh right. I thought his was going to be another non-Harry chapter.

Why do the Dursleys allow Harry to dress like a vagrant? That draws even more attention.

Mrs Figgs keeps asking Harry over for tea. You know, Dumbledore, it would really help if you explained about the Order BEFORE Harry went home.

This chapter reads like The Casual Vacancy. Commenting on the average British suburb.

Huh, Vernon can’t strangle Harry.

On the one hand Harry is SUCH a teen (“what about meeeeeeeee”), on the other hand I feel for him, left behind on his own.

Heh Mark Evans. All the crazy theories until Jo came out and said there was no connection to Lily.

This book is already so much darker, the bickering between Dudley and Harry, Harry’s nightmares. The Dementor attack is cool, though.

“Oh I’m going to KILL Mundungus Fletcher!” Please do.


2 – A peck of owls

Great twist with Mrs Figg.

“... this was EXACTLY what Dumbledore was afraid of.” Should have gotten him out earlier then!

Expelled! Not expelled!

“Did he use his... thing?” Oh geez.

Petunia knows about Azkaban! “I heard – that awful boy – telling HER about them – years ago.” Harry thinks she means his mum and dad. Petunia does not correct him. (Let’s be honest, did anyone but the most hardcore Snilly shippers guess otherwise?)

This whole chapter is a rollercoaster of emotion. I get why Harry gets frustrated at NO information from the adults around him.

“Remember my last, Petunia.”


3 – The Advance Guard.
YAY. (I actually paused here for a day or three for... reasons. Stupid teenage emotions reasons, basically I was afraid the Order wouldn't be as cool as in my memory. Thankfully I was wrong)

Hmmm who’s voice was in Petunia’s Howler..? (Kind of odd that Harry doesn’t recognise it, although I guess he never heard Dumbledore shout like that.)

Harry is such a teen – who has PTSD and is in mourning. Poor kid.

Moody got over his captivity pretty soon, this is like a month and a half after GoF. (Heh I keep a train ticket at the first Remus scene.)

REMUS. Slightly hoarse voice and as Harry’s heart leapt so did mine. (Why didn’t he speak first though? Would have made Harry less paranoid.)

Tonks! Kingsley!

“Remus Lupin”, full name in the narrative now. Greyer than before, poor thing. Tonks is mentioned right after. Also she has violet hair??

“Better wizards than you have lost a buttock, you know!” Elementary wand safety indeed.

“How are you?” [Lupin] asked, looking closely at Harry.’ The wizarding world NEEDS therapists.

“Don’t call me Nymphadora, Remus!”

Emmeline Vance and Hestia Jones! Hestia still has the best name in the series.

Oh wow no wonder everyone’s so jumpy when Harry’s about to say Voldemort. Makes much more sense when you know about the name curse thing.

Harry is too young to Apparate, but can’t he Apparate with someone like in HBP? Or is that one of Dumbledore’s special skills?

I love capable Remus.

Metamorphmagus! Such a wasted ability. They’re really rare – are they spontaneous or is there a metamorphmagus somewhere in the Black family tree? I think Teddy is one as well?? Gief metamorphmagus genetics plz.

I want a packing spell. Also I love capable adult wizards doing magic! It was my favourite part about the Fantastic Beasts movie.

Everyone is messing around the kitching, only Remus is doing usefull things and taking care of business.

“Do I have to?” return to the Dursleys? Sadly, yes. It will be clear a year from now.

“No one’s going to die,” says Kingsley. Not yet. Sob.

This flying scene takes too long.

Harry doesn’t recognise London from above? Should’ve watched more Eastenders.

“The Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place.”


4 – Number twelve, Grimmauld Place.
Yay.

So Harry, Remus, Tonks and Moody get inside. Where did the others go? Oh, they filed in behind Harry.

“It was as though they had just entered the house of a dying person.” Well...

Order meeting! “HE just arrived.” Dundundunn.

Hermione wanted to tell Harry. She knows him better than Dumbledore...

SHOUTY HARRY. Although he’s right.

Oh right, the Twins can Apparate now. “Hello Harry. We thought we heard your dulcet tones.”

Ginny is suddenly cool and capable (ok not that suddenly).

“Percy had committed the fairly large oversight of failing to notice that his boss was being controlled by Lord Voldemort.” Yeah that’s a fairly large oversight, I’d say.

The Prophet is spreading alternative facts about Harry (and I hate that that’s a thing now).

Harry’s mad at Dumbledore. GOOD.

SNAAAAAAAPE. He never eats there. Gosh I wonder why.

Hi Mrs Black. Hi Sirius. Long hair again I see. (How long can it really be, he had short hair only a year ago.)


5 – The Order of the Phoenix.
Whoo.

“About the only useful thing I’ve been able to do.” Ouch.

Mundungus piss off.

Sirius would have welcomed a Dementor attack. Somebody get him out of that house NOW. It’s been only a month?!

Sirius and Harry can start the anti-Dumbledore club. Snape can be an intermittent member.

Mundungus is “very loyal to Dumbledore, who helped him out of a tight spot once.” Yeah that sounds like Dumbledore. Very familiar narrative.

Aaaaaand Sirius throws a bucket of cold water over everyone. Lupin looks wary, of course. Eyes fixed on Sirius.

Battle of the (god)parents! Molly, with all due respect, PISS OFF. “Arthur, back me up!” Honestly!

Thank god for Remus Lupin, professional voice of reason. “ Sirius, sit DOWN.”

Yay two-teaming infodump.

Millicent Bagnold was Minister of Magic before Fudge.

Heh don’t take Dumbledore’s Chocolate Frog cards!

Voldemort wants a mysterious ~weapon.

Remus says that’s enough infodumping and Sirius agrees. Down, dog.


6 – The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black

Even Ron’s PYJAMAS are maroon?! Where did Molly even FIND those?!

Right, Buckbeak is in Mrs Black’s room. Poor thing.

What shape does Sirius’s Boggart take? Also a Dementor? James dead? Hm.

Hi Kreacher hi.

Huh ‘Snape’s worst memory’ is just about when Sirius ran away from home. And he’s had his own place since he was 17. Poor guy really.

Phineas Nigellus! Most impopular Headmaster ever.

All Pureblood families are connected.

Aw, bonding over sucky homelives.

Where did Sirius get a wand??

Oohhh they found a mysterious locket no one can open. I’m sure that’s not going to come back two books from now.

“I still caught him snogging a pair of my father’s old trousers last week.” Ew.

“Lupin, who was staying in the house with Sirius...” Ahem. Although what happened to “Lie low at Lupin’s for a while”? Why couldn’t they stay in Remus’s swinging bachelor pad? Then again Remus probably lived in the attic of a house he shared with twelve students or something because that’s the only thing he can afford. Living in the most depressing house in the Commonwealth with a screaming painting in the hallway and a psychotic house elf was probably an upgrade.

Aw Dumbledore is avoiding Harry. (OK this does make sense.)


7 – The Ministry of Magic

Got the music in my head now.

Yay breakfast with Remus, Sirius and Tonks – and the Weasleys. Scrimgeour is mentioned.

Sirius: “don’t lose your temper.” Experience?

Arthur on the Tube is <3. The stile swallowing the ticket – do they still do that? Doesn't everyone have an Oyster card now? And the telephone box!

The Mom sounds awesome – except for the fountain. Was anyone really surprised when the wizarding world went Third Reich?!

Even wizards have cubicles and open plan offices...

Hey the Quibbler. Does Arthur know it’s written and edited by his neighbour?

Ew regurgitating toilets.

Hi Bode.

“Harry’s heart was beating a violent tattoo against his Adam’s apple.” Ohh I remember I got so weirded out the first time around at all the reminders that Harry is nearly an adult now. To me, he was always a kid - the BOY Who Lived. Actually, it still weirds me out a bit. :p


8 – The Hearing

UMBRIDGE.

Witness for the defence, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.” I cannot read it in any other way than Gambon said it. (And Fudge is Cornelius Oswald Fudge?)

What the crap are tarradiddles, Fudge? (A few days later, the QI Twitter explained!)

Eww, toadlike Umbridge. OH GOD AND HER WAY OF SPEAKING. “So silly of me!” Aaarrrgggh.

Dumbledore vs Fudge.

Dumbledore: “the Ministry does not have power to expel Hogwarts students.” Don’t give them ideas.

Bye Dumbledore.


9 – The Woes of Mrs Weasley

Aw, Percy and Arthur. L

“Well, well, well.... Patronus Potter,” said Lucius Malfoy coldly. What? What kind of nickname is that?

He talks like Snape.

Fudge Imperio’d? Dumledore thinks he’s “acting of his own accord at the moment... which Dumbledore thinks is not a lot of comfort.” Uncomfortable shades of Trump and... honestly all of his advisors.

“He got off, he got off, he got off – “

Poor Sirius, left alone. L And Hermione’s calling him selfish! “H’ll have company! It’s headquarters to the Order of the Phoenix, isn’t it?” Even Remus is away for long periods sometimes and HE LIVES THERE.

“So you think he’s touched in the head?”
“No. I just think he’s been very lonely for a long time.”
L

Booklists on the very last day of the holiday, that’s useful...

RON IS A PREFECT. I FORGOT ABOUT THAT. Oh shit and everyone’s reactions, they’re so taken aback that it’s Ron instead of Harry. L At least Molly’s nice about it.

I like Harry reflecting on his feelings here. Even though he does again arrive at woe is me. :p

Awww Ron.

Party with the Weasleys, Sirius, Remus, Tonks and Kingsley! I like how they’ve already formed a little family. Oh and Moody is here too – who immediately puts a damper on Ron’s enthusiasm, haha.

Sirius has a barklike laugh. And Remus was a Prefect. “I think Dumbledore might have hoped I would be able to exercise some control over my best friends. I need scarcely say that I failed dismally.” In hindsight that’s really not as funny as he’s trying to make it.

Hermione talking about elf rights and werewolf segregation to Lupin.

Original Order! Huh, Lupin standing so far away from the other Marauders?

Molly’s Boggart. L (Huh how did Sirius and Remus know to follow? Oh, Moody probably alerted them.) Lupin comfort powers activate.

“First sign of madness, talking to your own head.” Phineas I love you.


10 – Luna Lovegood.
Yaay.

Jo loves her capslock key.

Yay doggy Sirius. Who isn’t even allowed to say goodbye to Harry. L

Oi, even Ginny calls her Loony Lovegood?

Mimbulus Mimbletonia!

Sirius Black, mass murderer or singing sensation? Jo had too much fun with these articles.

Thestrals! Which everyone will be able to see after TDH.

“Don’t worry. You’re just as sane as I am.”


11 – The Sorting Hat’s New Song

I.... kind of have to agree with Luna that Hagrid’s not a great teacher. “We in Ravenclaw think he’s a bit of a joke.”

Ugggggh Umbridge.

The new Sorting Song is more sophisticated in its rhyme scheme, and it’s a rather ominous message. It also agrees with Dumbledore that maybe they sort too soon.

“Hem hem.” DIE.

“Without progress there will be stagnation and decay. Then again, progress for progress’ sake must be discouraged, for our tried and tested traditions often require no tinkering.” There are SO MANY REAL LIFE PARALLELS one could draw from this. “Let us move forward then, to a new era of openness, effectiveness and accountability, intent on preserving what ought to be preserved, perfecting what needs to be perfected, and pruning wherever we find practices that ought to be prohibited.” I’m hearing Imelda Staunton in my head and it’s glorious. (And man, how great were all the adults actors. Snape's faaaaaaaaaaaaaaace when she gets up! And Emma Thompson!)

Teenage boys, tempers flying... at least Neville and his gran believe Harry. (Also is Neville in love with his plant or what?)


12 – Professor Umbridge.
Oh God.

Heh Hermione quoting Dumbledore verbatim and Ron being amazed at it.

Curiously no mention of Snape yet.

Hermione reading the Daily Prophet because it’s important to know what the enemy is saying. Like watching Fox News these days.

Once again September 2 falls on a Monday. I guess it’s... magic.

“Fred and I managed to keep our peckers up somehow.” ... I literally have no comment.

Ooo careers advice this year, that’s right!

Hee Harry, asking Cho whether she’d had a good summer – after her boyfriend died. And then Ron attacks her for not being a ‘real’ Tornado’s fan. Poor Cho.

Hi Snape hi. How was YOUR summer?

Ew, Umbridge lesson. “Your teaching in this subject has been rather disrupted and fragmented, hasn’t it?” Not their fault the job’s cursed. And ugh, those carefully structured course aims.

“There will be no need to talk.”

“Extremely dangerous half-breeds.” And fuck you too. (Also I was listening to a HP playlist on Spotify while reading, all 8 soundtracks on shuffle, and Umbridge’s theme came on just as I was reading this scene!)

“As long as you have studied theory hard enough, there is no reason why you should not be able to perform the spells under carefully controlled examination conditions.” Yeaaaahh.... no.

“This is a school, Mr Potter, not the real world.”

And Harry just landed himself in detention. Of course Umbridge uses PINK parchment.

Yay McGonagall. “Have a biscuit, Potter.”

“Potter, use your common sense.” She does know who she’s talking to?


13 – Detention with Dolores.
Her first name is so ironic.

Ron is about as effective a prefect as Remus was. Sigh. I don’t think Dumbledore ever clearly explained why he picked RON, did he? Only that he didn’t pick Harry. (Also why is he in charge of that and not the Heads of Houses? Surely they know their students better. Or maybe Dumbledore just signs off on it and he told McGonagall "anyone but Harry'.)

Hermione and the elf hats. Sigh.

Bowtruckles! I forgot they were in this book!

Aw, Luna and her radish earrings. Every fan made them out of beads or clay and I painted actual radishes oranges, because... I’m real-life Luna I guess. :p (It was a disgusting feeling of course.) And of course Hermione can’t accept believing in things without proof. (Which makes me wonder, how does the wizarding world deal with religion? I mean, turning water into wine is basic Transfiguration...)

Ew Umbridge’s office. Downgrade from Remus’s and Moody’s. And that EVIL quill of hers! “Oh, you won’t need ink.”

Hurting scar when Umbridge touches him...

Yay Ron is Keeper!


14 – Percy and Padfoot.
??? What is this about?

Harry and Cho in the owlery. Heh, Harry as smooth as ever.

Oh shit, the Prophet knows Sirius is in London. L

Quidditch practice, and the Slytherins are being racist to Angelina.

Oooh that’s right! Percy’s letter to Ron! Gosh, even his writing is pompous, lol. And so longwinded! Two pages! “Dolores Umbridge, a truly delightful woman.” REALLY. World greatest git indeed.

“Europa’s covered in ice, not mice.”

Sirius in the fire! “But he wouldn’t do that now, it would be too – Sirius!” Yes.

“I know [Umbridge] is a nasty piece of work – you should hear Remus talk about her.” Oh yes please.

“She drafted a bit of anti-werewolf legislation two years ago that makes it almost impossible for him to get a job.” Ugggh. (Actually, Amy and I had a conversation about this, and she pointed out that two years ago was actually the summer BEFORE PoA - it's two books ago but timeline wise the end of PoA was only a year ago. So Remus's career prospects were shot anyway, maybe it even prompted Dumbledore to finally ask him to come DADA (or maybe it finally made Remus accept because he knew the job was cursed but he figured a cursed job was a job anyway, lol. According to the Harry Potter Wikia, the legislation made it impossible for werewolves to get a fulltime job. Which just makes me think, why on earth do they not just get a Muggle job (even if it's another parttime job to supplement their wizard income)? I guess they could even apply for disability, although I'm not sure on what grounds - a REALLY extreme form of rheumatism? :p Also I'm not entirely sure where that 'can't get a fulltime job' thing comes from as it's not on Pottermore. Oh well. Let's just say that Umbridge sucks and keep it at that.)

“What does [Fudge] think we’re doing here, forming some sort of wizard army?” Just you wait....

Yeah let’s go to Hogsmeade in dog form, that’s sure to end well. How does Sirius travel long-distance anyway? Buckbeak all the time? Can he Apparate?

“You’re less like your father than I thought. The risk would’ve been what made it fun for James.”

Poor Sirius.


15 – The Hogwarts High Inquisitor

Umbridge’s been “an immediate success” according to Percy.

Lucius is 41. I wonder how old Narcissa is. (After another discussion, Amy and I found out that Bellatrix is the oldest sister, Andromeda the middle and Narcissa the youngest.)

“The employment of werewolf Remus Lupin.” Great.

Ron can’t wait to see McGonagall inspected. Him and the rest of fandom.

Oh no, Umbridge inspecting Trelawney. L Poor Trelawney.

Aaaaand Harry just landed himself in detention again. Sigh.

Yay McGonagall inspection time! “Looking supremely unconcerned” like the Queen she is, hee.

Hey, she started in December? 39 years ago. (Wait how does that make sense? Wasn’t Dumbledore teaching Transfiguration back then? Or did he take time off and did he take the Headmaster job without being a teacher?)

Harry just keep your tongue for ONCE...

Yaay starting the DA! And Harry’s teaching! Although Ron’s right, he IS rather slow on the uptake, lol.

I wonder if Jo researched army veterans and survivor’s guilt for this. I have little to no experience with PTSD but her depiction of Harry reads very realistic.

I keep forgetting about those corridor dreams.


16 – In the Hog’s Head

“Sirius listens to Dumbledore even if he doesn’t like what he hears.” Only up to a point anyway.

The Hog’s Head sounds like your standard issue RPG inn.

Aberforth! I forgot he ran this bar! No wonder Mundungus is here (in disguise).

Hermione the natural orator, lol. 'Um.'

Yay Susan Bones.

Ah, the list. “There was an odd feeling in the group now. It was as though they had just signed some kind of contract.” Well....

So Ginny has been dating Michael Corner for six months now and Ron didn’t notice???

Ah, romance. LOL.


17 – Educational Degree Number Twenty-Four

I wanna knit magically. It would save me so much time.

All school clubs are banned. Ouch.

Boys not allowed in the girls dorms! “The Founders thought boys were less trustworthy than girls.”

Hermione’s curse on the contract.

Nooo Hedwig’s injured. L

Fuck off Malfoy. “Apparently they’ve got a special ward for people whose brains have been addled by magic.” PUNCH HIM, NEVILLE.

UMBRIDGE INSPECTING SNAPE. He’s been teaching 14 years now. Wow, that must have been like 'ok thanks for your spying, sorry the love of your life is dead, here're some kids to teach, good luck, no you can't do DADA.'

Aw, Trelawney got the result back. L She’s on probation.

Sirius! I love how fond Crookshanks is of him. LOL Sirius passing on Molly’s message of ‘don’t do it’ extremely unenthusiastically because he thinks it’s a great idea, while naming James of course.

Oops Umbridge interruption.


18 – Dumbledore’s Army.
:D

Interesting how often the (bad) weather’s been mentioned. So much rain! Maybe Jo got a note from her editor to add more scenery descriptions.

Sirius is for the plan so Hermione has doubts. I... don’t entirely blame her.

Harry reading Voldemort’s mind. Fun. Well, mood, not mind, but anyway.

Dobby! And the Room of Requirement!

“An enormous tapestry depicting Barnabas’ foolish attempt to train trolls for the ballet.” My favourite piece of description in all the books.

Harry the teacher. ^^

Dumbledore’s Army! This whole bit is great. I wonder whether Harry ever took up teaching again. Maybe as an Auror. I bet he’d be a great mentor. (And imagine you’re an Auror in training and you get assigned HARRY FREAKING POTTER to be your mentor!)


19 – The Lion and the Serpent

The coins! With a protean charm. Yeah, why ISN’T Hermione in Ravenclaw?! (Yeah yeah I know.)

Snape is the least sportsmanlike person ever.

Hey no Halloween feast? October turns to November and nothing. Page 355. (God PoA is over and done with and we’re barely in November!)

Poor Ron. Weasley is our King indeed. Malfoy deserved to be beaten up for that. And McGonagall is LIVID.

And fuck Umbridge. Banned from Quidditch!

“It’s bad enough without you blaming yourself for everything!” Someone tell Remus.

Hagrid’s back!


20 – Hagrid’s Tale

Oh right, he’s injured.

People EAT dragonmeat? It’s in fact cheap enough to use as a cooling medicine thing??

“Tell us about your summer and I’ll tell you about mine.”

Hagrid’s not supposed to use magic? Didn’t he get full privileges back after CoS? Or is it because he never official graduated?

The giants sound... not great.

Ew Umbridge. She is too clever.

Oohh that’s right, Hagrid is going to cover Thestrals!


21 – The Eye of the Snake

Aw, Harry doesn’t really want to admit to himself that Grubbly-Plank is better at teaching than Hagrid.

Heh Malfoy’s scared to go into the forest.

Thestrals! Although it seems kind of pointless to teach about something more than half the class can’t even see?

Dumbledore flies around on a Thestral when he doesn’t want to Apparate? AWESOME.

Aw fuck, Umbridge’s here. And she’s terribly patronising. I kind of wonder how she would have treated Remus. Would she even have dared to go near him? (I mean, at least that would have saved him talking to her!)

Pansy Parkinson’s getting a lot more screen time in this book.

Ron has never heard of skiing? Huh?

How is it not a given that Harry is going to Grimmauld Plac over Christmas? His Godfather is there. Has he not been in contact with Sirius or any of the Order for over a month? He could have maybe send Sirius a note through the Weasleys? ANYTHING?!

Hee, Dobby’s Christmas decorations. Have a very Harry Christmas! And mistletoe is invested with Nargles, obviously.

Ginny is the new Seeker! And yay Neville has improved a lot at spell casting.

Oooh Cho stayed behiiiiiiiind. And... she’s crying. “She was very pretty even when her eyes were red and puffy. Harry felt thoroughly miserable. He would have been so pleased with just a ‘Merry Christmas’.” Aw.

Aaaaand kiss. Well, fade to black.

LOL Hermione and Ron.

“Well? How was it?”
“Wet.” Classic.

This whole bit is pretty hilarious. “The most insensitive wart I’ve ever had the misfortune to meet.” “Just because you’ve got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have.”

Ah, teenage boys. So clueless.

Harry wishes Sirius would show up for girl advice. Is he quite sure about that?

Horcrux dream! Poor Arthur.

Dumbledore time.


22 – St Mungo’s Hospital For Magical Maladies And Injuries.
Whee Lockhart (not yet!).

Dumbledore wears a purple and gold dressing gown and a white nightshirt. Eyes fixed intently on McGonagall.

Elfrida Cragg has a portrait at the Ministry!

Phineas come the fuck on, cooperate.

Yaay party at Sirius’s. And Harry and Dumbledore lock eyes and it’s not good.

Sirius is unshaven and stinks of alcohol. L But at least he’s controlling his temper.

This scene is a little less tense when you know Arthur is going to survive. Also Ginny is compared to a cat again.

Oh no they might have to stay over for Christmas. Sirius will mind SO MUCH.

Yay Tonks.

I really wish St Mungo’s had made it into the movie!

Arthur’s in the Dai Llewellyn ward, which is mentioned in Quidditch Through The Ages.

Of course the Healer in charge is called Hippocrates Smedwyck. Maybe it's like a law or something in the wizarding world that if your parents give you a name referring to something, you HAVE to do that (which... is really harsh for poor little Remus Lupin, haha).

Oooh right, the other patient who’s a werewolf! Molly’s immediately worried about safety. Sigh. Luckily it’s two weeks until the full moon, and Arthur knows some guy who finds the condition “quite easy to manage “. So easy in fact that he regularly forgets about it even when he’s surrounded by easily-eaten teens! YES I AM STILL BITTER.

Dundundunnn Harry’s possessed.


23 – Christmas On The Closed Ward.
Right, this is the Lockhart one.

“I’m the weapon,” thinks Harry. So close! And now he’s working himself up into all kinds of doom scenarios. Thank God for Phineas! “We Slytherins are brave, yes, but not stupid. For instance, given the choice, we will always choose to save our own necks.” “This is no cowardly flight – you’re being NOBLE.” “My poor little puffed-up popinjay!” He is so done with teens, it’s glorious.

Aw Sirius is singing carols. While Harry is feeling sorry for himself.

Oh hey Hermione, voice of reason. “Oh stop feeling so misunderstood.”

Duh, Harry, Ginny was actually possessed by Voldemort?! Oh right.

God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs. Sirius has a mood upswing. For now.

Shared Christmas gift from Sirius and Remus. I’m not saying anything. (And it sounds awesome, Practical Defensive Magic And Its Uses Against The Dark Arts.)

Remus is on emotion-soothing duty again as Percy send back his Christmas jumper. Ah, Christmas...

Ron gave Hermione perfume??

Ooohh shit Kreacher is missing. I completely missed that bit! When was it?! Oh, when they just got here. Huh.

The Underground doesn’t run on Christmas Day? That seems... less than convenient.

Arthur and stitches. Remus flees to the other werewolf and the rest runs away.

Lockhart! :D (Heh that makes 3 DADA teachers in the hospital right now – Remus, Moody and Lockhart. Sort of 4 when you count Harry, too.)

“I can do joined-up writing now, you know!” God he is adorable.

Mr Bode is here too. He had a visitor a few days ago and he got a plant for Christmas...

Gladys Gudgeon writes weekly to Lockhart. Of course she does.

The Longbottoms! Aw, poor Neville. L This whole scene is awful. Theories about the gum wrappers notwithstanding. Worse than having dead parents. Sob.


24 – Occlumency

Kreacher’s back, happier than ever, and Sirius is sinking back into depression.

“Professor Snape would like a word with you.” Oh joy.

FFS it’s a childish-off.

“Why do I have to study Occlu-thing?”
“Because the Headmaster thinks it’s a good idea.”
“Why can’t Dumbledore teach Harry?” Doesn’t Sirius know about the mental connection thing?

Sirius is taller than Snape. Huh. I always pictured Snape as fairly tall already. Suddenly Hagrid fitting on Sirius’s bike makes sense. And Sirius calls Snape Snivellus of course.

Thank God for the entrance of the others. “Just a friendly little chat between two old school friends.” Man, you are SO lucky Remus isn’t here. (Although let’s be honestly, he wouldn’t get more than a side-eye.)

Yay Tonks and Lupin escort!

OPEN. THE. DAMN. PACKAGE. HARRY. GDI.

Last time he touched Sirius. L

Why couldn’t Harry take the Hogwarts Express back? Even if it’s to maintain the fiction that he stayed over at the Weasleys, it’s not that weird that the Weasleys would drop him off at King’s Cross.

Some wise words from Remus as a goodbye.

Harry is the most clueless boy ever when it comes to romance.

Occlumency lesson! “He can read minds?” Well, it’s a fair question.

Snape is so... eloquent.

“The usual rules do not seem to apply with you, Potter.” And doesn’t he HATE it.

“You are sharing the Dark Lord’s thoughts and emotions. The Headmaster thinks it’s inadvisable for this to continue.” Well, yeah, somewhat.

But hey, Harry is getting a lot of info from this, finally.

Snape’s afraid of Voldemort... I never noticed that before. Interesting and poignant. I wonder which memories he removed besides his Worst One (ugh, not looking forward to THAT chapter).

“Let go of all emotion.” Easier said than done with those two.

Did Snape see Lily in Harry’s memory of the Mirror of Erised?

“Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked so easily – weak people, in other words – they stand no chance against his powers!” On the one hand, great point awesomely put. On the other hand, Snape’s the one to talk about people who wallow in sad memories and are provoked easily!

Snape’s not that great a teacher.

“I don’t like Occlumency much.” Gosh really.


25 – The Beetle At Bay

Oh shit the breakout of Azkaban.

So Dolohov killed the Prewetts. Do the Weasley kids know their uncles were killed by a DE?

Hagrid’s on probation and Bode’s dead.

Teachers are no longer allowed to teach anything not related to their subject.

Neville’s found a new motivation to apply himself at the DA: revenge!

“If we can’t trust Dumbledore, we can’t trust anyone.”

Isn’t anyone checking on whether they’re overworking the students?! Regularly staying up past midnight isn’t healthy. Hogwarts NEEDS a school counsellor, holy shit.

Oh joy the Valentine’s date. Aaaand Cho’s crying. Again.

Oh hey Rita.

Quibbler interview!


26 – Seen And Unforseen

Of course Ginny is better than Ron at Quidditch. I do agree with Hermione, Quidditch “creates all this bad feeling and tension between the houses.”

Harry dreams Neville and Sprout are waltzing and McGonagall plays the bagpipes!

Yay the Quibbler interview! Boo Umbridge. Although of course banning it is the best way of spreading it.

Harry has another Voldemort vision and Hermione tells him off for not practicing Occlumency, of course.

We’re jumping ahead in time pretty quickly now. The pacing of the plot is off in this book. The Voldemort dream was in March, now we’re a couple of weeks ahead (April?). “After two months of lessons.” So end of March/early April.

“You are neither special nor important,” claims Snape, who seems happy and proud to be a spy. Proud to have the special job?

Oh shit he’s in Snape’s brain. Not good. Poor lil’ Sev. And of course Snape has to retaliate for Harry seeing him ‘weak’.

Yeah, why DOES Snape call him The Dark Lord?

Oops Trelawney. (Heh Snape was about to say “What the – “ I’m kind of wondering what kind of swearwords he’d use. Would he use wizarding words (do they have them?) or would he drop F-bombs all over the place?) Yay for McGonagall though! Solidarity! And Dumbledore is having an Aragorn moment with the doors.

Where would Trelawney even GO? Does she have family?

Firenze!


27 – The Centaur and the Sneak

Ugh Centaur groupies. Awesome new classroom though.

“Did Hagrid breed you like the Thestrals?” DEAN. WTF.

“A twinkling red star winked at [Harry] from overhead.” Oh it’s Mars, not Sirius. (Anyway I think Sirius is white? Ironically.)

Hagrid is doing something mysterious which isn’t working.

Ah, it’s April now.

Hannah Abbot cracked under the stress. Why are there no therapists?!

Aw, Neville can’t conjure a Patronus because he can’t think of a happy memory? L (Oh no, just think of something happy. Well, even so. Even Grandma Snape doesn’t work?)

Oops Umbridge discovered the DA.

Wow Fudge can use sarcasm.

SNEAK. That was overboard, Hermione.

Dumbledore should have been a lawyer. He’s arguing technicalities like a pro.

“See what they named themselves? Dumbledore’s Army.” Dumbledore is literally speechless. And then he starts bluffing. :p

“It’s just that you seem to be labouring under the delusion that I am going to – what is the phrase? – come quietly.” “I have absolutely no intention of being send to Azkaban. I could break out of course – but what a waste of time, and frankly, I can think of a whole host of things I would rather be doing.”

Hey Dawlish is here.

Yay for McGonagall’s reflexes.

“Fudge will soon wish he’d never dislodged me from Hogwarts.”

Dumbles, I know now is not the right time but a LITTLE more explanation of WHY Occlumency is necessary might be helpful here...

Phineas: “You know, Minister, I disagree with Dumbledore on many counts... but you cannot deny he’s got style.”


28 – Snape’s Worst Memory.
FUUUUUUUUU. DO NOT WANT.

Umbridge is Headmistress. This entire chapter is one big DO NOT WANT. Inquisitorial squad, ugggh.

The Twins are planning mayhem! (And finish each other’s sentences.)

Ah, Umbridge trying to feed Harry Veritaserum.

HERMIONE suggests a night off?? She’s feeling a bit rebellious.

HARRY, PLEASE JUST LEAVE AND DON’T TOUCH THAT PENSIEVE. There is NO information about the Department of Mysteries in there! “His brain seemed to be in limbo.” LEAVE.

Fuck.

“Snape the teenager had a stringy, pallid look about him, like a plant kept in the dark.” Aw.

Hi James. Hi Sirius. “Very good-looking”, being eyed by some girl he doesn’t notice. Remus “rather pale and peaky (was the full moon approaching?)”. Wouldn’t be the first time a DADA exam was just before the full moon. Of course Peter tries to cheat.

“LE”, what does that stand for, Harry wonders. Does Harry have no idea what his mother’s maiden name is?

Snape’s “round-shouldered yet angular”, aw.

“Give five signs that identify a werewolf.” Why do they joke about this in the middle of a crowd? And why in God’s name do they tolerate Peter? He’s worse than Colin Creevey.

“Lupin had pulled out a book and was reading.” Gosh I don’t know why people keep comparing me to him. Sirius looks haughty and bored “but very handsomely so”. James is playing with a Snitch he stole and Peter is worshipping him. Revolting scene.

“Sirius was the only one for whom James would have stopped showing off.”

“I’m bored. Wish it was full moon.” Remus suggests studying instead. I mean, given the choice of becoming a man-eating monster or studying...

Fuckfuckfuck they spotted Snape. Wormtail is enjoying it (almost too much, he’s all but pissing himself), Remus... not so much.

WHY IS THERE AN AUDIENCE. “Snape was clearly unpopular.” YEAH NO SHIT. WHY IS THE ENTIRE WIZARDING WORLD PSYCHO.

Yay Lily.

“What’s he done to you?”
“Well, it’s more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean.” AND PEOPLE LAUGH. (But not Lily or Remus.)

James will leave Snape alone if Lily will go out with him. By now I wouldn’t blame Lily if she chucked him in the lake to be eaten by the Squid.

Fuck, the underpants.

OK it was wrong to call her Mudblood but Lily did turn on him too, with the sneer about the underpants and calling him Snivellus.

Oops adult Snape is here. Poor guy. L

I survived! Somehow.


29 – Careers Advice.
Yay!

Harry’s struggling with his abruptly changed mental image of his parents. “Once or twice he even wondered whether James had forced her into it.” I read SO MANY FANFICS with that premise. Some even before OotP came out. Also that is a horrible thing to think about your own father, eek. (Interestingly, it would again make him a parallel of both Snape and Tom Riddle.)

“The thing about growing up with Fred and George is that you sort of start thinking anything’s possible if you’ve got enough nerve.”

Career possibility: training security trolls! That sounds like a... not so thrilling job.

“Are – you – insane?”
“I don’t think so.”

Sirius gave Harry a knife that will open any lock. A sonic screwdriver?

Snape once again reverting to the behaviour of a twelve-year old.

CAREERS ADVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE.

“Aurors only take the best. In fact, I don’t think anybody has been taken on in the last 3 years.” Hi Tonks.

So the teachers can set higher marks for classes than are necessary for the job? That seems... sort of counterproductive. “Gosh we’re getting awfully few Auror candidates these days, somehow nobody passes the Hogwarts Potions exam, I wonder if it has anything to do with the crazy high standards of the professor.”

“He has achieved high marks in all Defence Against The Dark Arts tests set by a competent teacher.” HA.

Sure, McGonagall wants Fudge replaced by Dumbledore, sure Umbridge.

Hi Remus hi.

“I just fancied a – a chat with Sirius.” Sure.

Harry talking to his two dads.

“I’m not proud of it,” says Sirius, and Remus just LOOKS at him. Bet that was a pretty recent development.

Oh FFS now they’re getting all nostalgic, too.

“You made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes, that was something...” Admittedly, for Prefect Remus, that was probably the best he could do.

James got his head out of his arse eventually and stopped bullying people but Snape was a special case as he kept cursing James so you couldn’t really expect James to take that laying down. Sigh.

NOW they ask how Snape reacted?! Also, guys, it would REALLY help if you’d tell Harry WHY he needs to learn Occlumency. GDI is everyone stupid here.

Filch wants to whip students...

“Give her hell from us, Peeves.” Best. Exit. Ever.


30 – Grawp.
Yawn.

Anarchy in the UK – err, Hogwarts. “It unscrews the other way.” God I love McGonagall.

“What if Montague’s permanently injured?”
“Who cares?” Geez. Again: psycho.

Hermione looking “beadily” at Harry as he lies about Occlumency and his dreams.

Quidditch final. Yawn. Luna and her eagle hat!

“Hagrid, who is he?” Hermione catches on quick.

I’m with Hermione here: WHY did he think this was a good idea?!

Yeah sure let’s ask a bunch of teens to look after a GIANT.

JUST WHY. WHY THIS WHOLE THING. WHY.

Hey centaurs. They’re NOT happy.

Weasley is our King! Victory!


31 – OWLs

Heh Ron is enjoying his moment in the sun again. And acting like James, ruffling his hair (which charms/amuses Harry).

Harry wondering whether Remus discussed Occlumency with Snape yet and whether Snape is just ignoring Remus. Knowing the both of them and considering what Harry saw – probably the latter. (Though Harry could at least try practicing himself!)

“Gran’s always telling Professor Marchbanks I’m not as good as my dad.” Oh Neville. L Does ANYONE have truly supportive (grand)parents here?

Hee “Dumbledore did things with a wand I’d never seen before.”

Interesting, they take OWLs and NEWTs at the same time. Although, I mean, why not? It’s efficient, and given the student number they easily fit in the Great Hall together.

Harry forgot “the definition of a Switching spell.” I mean, that sounds like a really obvious answer.

Patronus on the DADA exam. Show-off. :p

Heh the Divination exam, Harry telling the examiner that she should have died the previous Tuesday.

Oooh the Astronomy exam! That’s right, Hagrid! L

MCGONAGALL. Four stunners to the chest! Bastards!

Final exam, History of Magic on Thursday. Thursdays are bad luck for Sirius, the PoA climax happened on a Thursday too.

A three and a half feet high stack of notes?!

Oops, Voldemort mindlink again. (Page 641). Sirius! L


32 – Out of the Fire

“There was nobody left to tell.” AHEM.

Gosh it sure would have been useful to have a two-way mirror now.

Hermione voice of reason: HOW could Voldemort be in the Ministry of Magic?!

“Don’t you think you’ve got a bit of a – a – a saving-people thing?” And then Harry gets angry of course.

“There isn’t anyone from the Order left who we can tell.” I MEAN REALLY NOW. Normally Harry is thinking about Snape 87% of the time (mostly about how much he hates him), but now when it MATTERS...

Hey Ginny. Hey Luna (who is actually less in the book than I thought. I’d even forgotten about her while reading this.)

WTF is garrotting gas and why would anyone invent it?

If I were Harry I might just have stepped through the fireplace and searched Grimmauld Place myself (would also save him a trip to London on the Thestrals).

Ugh Kreacher. Ugh the Inquisitorial Squad. Ugh Umbridge.

NOW he remembers Snape exists and is in the Order.

Heh Snape hates Umbridge too.

“He’s got Padfoot! He’s got Padfoot at the place where it’s hidden!”

“What does he mean, Snape?”
“I have no idea.” Well, and at least he tells Crabbe off for choking Neville – admittedly with the excuse that it would make such a mess.

Sure let’s use the Cruciatus Curse on a student...

Ah. Umbridge sent the Dementors after Harry. “SOMEBODY had to act.”

Hermione rolling +20 on Bluff. She knows where the mysterious weapon is!


33- Fight and flight

Meanwhile Snape has already made contact with Sirius, probably... Couldn’t he have intercepted Umbridge and co?

Hi centaurs. Yeah, let’s call them Halfbreeds, that’s a good idea. “Near-human intelligence.”

Bye Umbridge (on page 666!). 100 pages left to go.

“He is nearing manhood, this one.” I’ve always found that such a weird phrasing. Probably because of the manhood.

OK this time around Grawp is useful.

Here comes the cavalry! Ginny and her bat-bogey hex.

Thestrals!


34 – The Department of Mysteries.
Oooh.

Heh, Luna riding sidesaddle on a Thestral.

So they leave at around six and arrive in London at/just after nightfall, so 10 PM-ish. Four hours flight to London.

Luna asking where to next “as though this was all a rather interesting daytrip.”

The badges with ‘Rescue mission’!

The MoM is ominously quiet...

This is the start of an RPG dungeon, with the changing doors and everything.

Ah, the brain aquarium. Whatever the hell that’s for.

The veil room... Interesting that Harry calls for Sirius here. And he’s oddly drawn towards the veil... Thank God Hermione has both feet firmly on the ground.

Mysterious locked room (the love room iirc?).

Fourth time’s the charm! The clock room!

Prophecy room...

No Sirius. And of course Harry feels monumentally stupid.

Orb with Harry’s name! “SPT to APWBD Dark Lord and (?)Harry Potter” Of course Harry wants to touch it despite everyone warning him not to.

Lucius!


35 – Beyond the Veil.
Hey look, the chapter number is how old Sirius got before he died.

Ew Bellatrix.

“I want to know where Sirius is!”
“The little baby woke up fwightened and fort what it dweamed was twoo.”

Ugh she immediately wants to torture Ginny.

Taunting Bellatrix, great idea Harry.

I wonder what the other broken prophecies were about. “... at the solstice will come a new...”

Even the DE’s are amazed at Dumbledore’s information diet.

The Ravenclaw in me gasps at the lost information when the prophecies are smashed!

Interesting how Lucius calls the Lestranges by their first names. Well, they ARE family.

Oops, bell-jarred DE.

Yeah, Silencio is a bit useless when you can do voiceless magic (what was the name for that?)

Ow, Neville got kicked in the face. Fuck you, Dolohov.

Neville’s got his dad’s old wand?? Why?? Surely they could have afforded a new wand when Neville went to Hogwarts!

Oh shit Ron got brained. Or cursed. Something.

Luna blew up Pluto in the planet room. That’s one way to get it off the planet list...

Ah, now Ron gets brained.

Back in the veil room. Go awaaaaayyyy...

“He’s dot alone! He’s still god be! NEVILLE. YOU HERO.

Fuck you Bellatrix.

ORDER OF THE PHOENIX FUCK YEAH. Sirius plz leave. (Which is actually really sad to say to him because he’s been hearing that for like a year now, but... really. Just go away.)

Sirius, Lupin, Moody, Tonks and Kingsley. All the best ones.

Bet this was the most alive Sirius has felt in years...

“Nice one! Now I want you to get out of –“ 1) no 'James'. 2) GO WITH THEM SIRIUS.

Bellatrix nearly killing her niece (what is Remus doing??).

I don’t want to turn the other page...

Oh, there is Remus. “Round up the others and GO.” AND TAKE SIRIUS.

Oops smashed prophecy.

DUBBLEDORE. “They were saved.” Sob. No. Not all of them.

Of course Sirius and Bellatrix don’t notice the arrival of the most powerful wizard of the age.

“Come on, you can do better than that.”

“It seemed to take Sirius an age to fall; his body curved in a graceful arc as he sank backwards through the ragged veil hanging from the arch.” (Page 710)

“There’s nothing you can do, Harry... nothing... he’s gone.” Sob. L


36 – The Only One He Ever Feared

“He can’t come back, Harry,” said Lupin, his voice breaking as he struggled to contain Harry. “He can’t come back, because he’s d-“ L L L

Kingsley takes over duelling Bellatrix. Lupin slots into Helping Mode.

Sure, Harry is going to kill Bellatrix. Good luck with that.

He runs past Hermione & Co. I’d already forgotten about them. Oops.

Bellatrix learned “the Dark Arts” from Voldemort. Huh.

Oops, Voldemort.

“Months of preparation, months of effort... and my Death Eaters have let Harry Potter thwart me again...” Man, does a Dark Lord have to do everything himself here.

Bellatrix is useless now. Ouch. And so is Harry. Avada Kedavra!

Yay Dumbledore. “It was foolish to come here tonight, Tom.”

“We both know there are other ways of destroying a man, Tom. Merely taking your life would not satisfy me, I admit.” Holy crap what.

“Your failure to understand that there are things much worse than death has always been your greatest weakness.”

Fawkes!

Voldemort in the water bubble. Very Avatar: The Last Airbender.

“If death is nothing, Dumbledore, kill the boy...” But THAT is not what Dumbledore said! Pay attention, Tom.

Exorcism by love.

And the Ministry of Magic finally shows up. They need to work on their security.

Fudge “looking around although hoping somebody was going to tell him what to do.” Less than useless. Or, as The Nightmare Before Christmas put it:

Back to Hogwarts.


37 – The Lost Prophecy

Dawn approaching. This all took like six hours?!

“It was his fault Sirius had died, it was all his fault.”

Yay Phineas.

“To say it aloud would make it final, absolute, irretrievable.” “He could not stand being himself anymore.” I wonder how much of this description is Jo describing how she felt after her mom had died...

That was a quick half hour.

“I know how you’re feeling, Harry.” Aw Dumbles.

I mean, Phineas does have a point about teenagers!

“This pain is part of being human” (and geez don’t call him a man – yet)

Yeah let’s wreck the office.

Punch him in the faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace. Make Dumbledore’s nose even more crooked!

“By all means continue destroying my possessions. I daresay I have too many.”

“You are not nearly as angry with me as you ought to be.” Well at least NOW he sees the error of his ways...

Aw Phineas. L Tiny heart for his greatgrandson after all.

Harry could care less about all the infodumping now Sirius is dead. Bit like me and TDH, haha.

Snape asked Sirius to stay behind at HQ. Right. Like Sirius was ever going to listen to that.

Dumbledore “persuaded Kreacher to tell him the truth.” Uhhhh. How?

Yay blaming Snape...

“Sirius was much too old and clever to have allowed such feeble taunts to hurt him.” HAHAHA.

I kind of feel sorry for Dumbledore but also like Harry raging at him serves him right.

“It is time for me to tell you what I should have told you five years ago, Harry. Please sit down.” Settle in for the second-to-last Dumbledore wrap-up.

Petunia was Lily’s only living relative. No grandparents? They lost their parents at a VERY young age then.

“She doesn’t give a damn – “ Hey is this the first actual swearword?

Dumbledore didn’t tell Harry out of love but also, I think, a smidge of ego. “The knowledge would be too much.” He underestimated Harry, like he thought an eleven-year old boy (nearly twelve) would never understand the kind of things The Great Dumbledore knew.

“What did I care if numbers of nameless and faceless people and creatures were slaughtered in the vague future if in the here and now you were alive, and well, and happy? I never dreamed that I would have such a person on my hands.” UHHHHHHH.
1) WHAT THE FUCK DUMBLEDORE.
2) He sounds like Hannibal fucking Lecter talking about what it would have been liked to have a child. WHICH IS NOT A GOOD THING.

Hey did Remus discuss the Dementor classes with Dumbledore? He mentions them.

Trelawney’s job interview was in Aberforth’s bar? That must have been awkward for the two Dumbleses.

The prophecy! Page 741.

Yay it could have been Neville.

Mysterious eavesdropper.... bet that never comes up again... :p

Oh right, the locked room wás the Love Room.

“Neither can live while the other survives.”

Heh aw, the explanation why Harry was not a Prefect.


38 – The Second War Begins

‘Oh uh guess Voldemort was back after all.’ Lord Thingy!

The Dementors are revolting. Goody.

“The Ministry is currently publishing guides to elementary home and personal defence which will be delivered free to all wizarding homes within the coming month.” Which will actually show up in HBP!

“Thoughts could leave deeper scarring than anything else.” Poignant and true.

Umbridge and the clipclopping noises! It’s not THAT funny. “Here, let’s trigger our teacher’s PTSD!”

Students swimming in the lake accompanied by the Giant Squid.

“You’re dead, Potter.”
“Funny, you’d think I’d have stopped walking around.”

MCGONAGALL! Even Snape’s happy! (I mean, there’s no dialogue cue but I’m just assuming; he uses an exclamation mark and strides forward). Also he doesn’t contradict her when she gives points to Gryffindor. :p

The weight of being the Chosen One... L

OH MY GOD THE FREAKING MIRROR, I FORGOT.

Oh man, how often has Nearly Headless Nick had this conversation with a student? L Or any of the ghosts, really.

Oh gosh, Luna. “I think they think I’m a bit odd, you know. Some people call me ‘Loony’ Lovegood, actually.”

God I love her.

Oh right, Cho. And heh, Ron ships Harry/Ginny?

Yay Order send-off. And intimidating the Dursleys.

“And make no mistake, we will hear about it,” added Lupin pleasantly.’ Niceness as a form of war.

“We’ll have you away from there as soon as we can.” Not if Dumbledore gets there first!

THE END.

Date: 2017-07-04 09:04 pm (UTC)
author_by_night: (cool_large)
From: [personal profile] author_by_night



The quotes will be a bit out of order since I had to keep bouncing up and down.


REMUS. Slightly hoarse voice and as Harry’s heart leapt so did mine. (Why didn’t he speak first though? Would have made Harry less paranoid.)


Good point. Maybe he was shuffling in behind or they had been more focused on getting in than how they'd approach Harry? He definitely should have first, though. Or someone could have sent an owl saying something like "Ford Anglia. 7:00." Which wouldn't have been true since the Ford Anglia wasn't involved, and there were no Weasleys, but at least it kind of would've made sense? Hell, even "Moony 7:00." (Although if they were worried about DEs intercepting... Peter may have told them the nicknames. So maybe that would've been bad.)


Hey the Quibbler. Does Arthur know it’s written and edited by his neighbour?


That's the whole thing with Luna. She is their neighbour, but Ron doesn't seem to know her at all. He might know the "Lovegoods" run the Quibbler but not have made the connection in time to hush Luna, though.


Poor Sirius, left alone. L And Hermione’s calling him selfish! “H’ll have company! It’s headquarters to the Order of the Phoenix, isn’t it?” Even Remus is away for long periods sometimes and HE LIVES THERE.

“So you think he’s touched in the head?”
“No. I just think he’s been very lonely for a long time.” L


So wait, we go from selfish to being lonely? Hermione was so weird in this book.


“Well, well, well.... Patronus Potter,” said Lucius Malfoy coldly. What? What kind of nickname is that?


That is a pretty bad insult!nickname.


RON IS A PREFECT. I FORGOT ABOUT THAT. Oh shit and everyone’s reactions, they’re so taken aback that it’s Ron instead of Harry. L At least Molly’s nice about it.

I like Harry reflecting on his feelings here. Even though he does again arrive at woe is me. :p


What I don't get is Harry's disappointment. Hermione, yes, but... while Harry always seemed to like school well enough and everything, he never seemed one to aspire for Prefectship, so to speak, and I wouldn't have expected it. Maybe it's just another thing DD has apparently kept from him? (But even DD indicates at the end that it would have been Harry, but he didn't want to put too much pressure on him. So apparently Harry was slated to be a Prefect, and I just... missed it?)


I.... kind of have to agree with Luna that Hagrid’s not a great teacher. “We in Ravenclaw think he’s a bit of a joke.”


I think a lot of people probably felt that way, to be honest.


“Fred and I managed to keep our peckers up somehow.” ... I literally have no comment.


... me either.


Quidditch practice, and the Slytherins are being racist to Angelina.


Yeah. For all fandom says the HP world seems fairly void of real-world racism, that's a pretty classic example of real-world racism.


So Ginny has been dating Michael Corner for six months now and Ron didn’t notice???

Yeah... maybe they were keeping it quiet?

The Hog’s Head sounds like your standard issue RPG inn.

It does, actually.


Aw fuck, Umbridge’s here. And she’s terribly patronising. I kind of wonder how she would have treated Remus


Probably not well, although she might have interacted with werewolves before (I imagine they're more common than half-giants). :/

The Underground doesn’t run on Christmas Day? That seems... less than convenient.

I did some quick research, and in 2016 anyway, there wasn't, so it must be typical. That does seem inconvenient, but the drivers do need a break. Transport in general seems a little limited.


Did Snape see Lily in Harry’s memory of the Mirror of Erised?


Oh. I bet he did. Good catch.



“Give five signs that identify a werewolf.” Why do they joke about this in the middle of a crowd? And why in God’s name do they tolerate Peter? He’s worse than Colin Creevey.


I have no idea why for either of those. I remember being disappointed by Peter being the dumb crony after all, BTW. Maybe he did have redeeming qualities, but it's just not shown here?

Could also be partly Snape's perception, as well as the fact that he was eavesdropping (hence hearing every word).



Harry’s struggling with his abruptly changed mental image of his parents. “Once or twice he even wondered whether James had forced her into it.” I read SO MANY FANFICS with that premise. Some even before OotP came out. Also that is a horrible thing to think about your own father, eek. (Interestingly, it would again make him a parallel of both Snape and Tom Riddle.


I didn't even realize there were a lot of fics with that premise! Huh. Kind of disturbing, really.

NOW they ask how Snape reacted?! Also, guys, it would REALLY help if you’d tell Harry WHY he needs to learn Occlumency. GDI is everyone stupid here.

I know. And I'm honestly surprised Sirius held back. Remus, I can understand - he has too much of a guilt complex to betray his promise to Dumbledore. But Sirius?




Heh Ron is enjoying his moment in the sun again. And acting like James, ruffling his hair (which charms/amuses Harry).


I really do think Ron is meant to be a James parallel - if in social role more than personality. (Harry is Sirius, Hermione is a combination of Remus and Lily, and Peter was "Scabbers", so.) I need to write that essay.

Hi centaurs. Yeah, let’s call them Halfbreeds, that’s a good idea. “Near-human intelligence.”

Umbridge is just so unapologetically racist. She's like those politicians who say horribly offensive things, and can't even come up with good apologies. Which is actually pretty solid social commentary. You have the Weasleys, who have biases but a lot of that comes from being ill-informed; once they learn, they strive to learn more and understand. But you have so many people like Umbridge, who are just hateful and don't even give any thought to the consequences of that hatred. She truly believed the centaurs to be simpletons who needed "reminding" of their "place." Ugh.

Heh, Luna riding sidesaddle on a Thestral.

I forgot about that! I do love Luna.

Bet this was the most alive Sirius has felt in years...

:( Sirius, Sirius, Sirius.



“To say it aloud would make it final, absolute, irretrievable.” “He could not stand being himself anymore.” I wonder how much of this description is Jo describing how she felt after her mom had died...
That was a quick half hour.


I wonder that about this whole scene really. I mean... I can see it, you know? Dumbledore saying what Sirius could've done differently could be someone saying things her mother might have tried (or even doctors, since - from personal experience - that's still the LAST thing a grieving person wants to think about, even if it's technically blaming another person and not your loved one), stuff like that. Of course, as a writer I imagine it's a collection of experiences.

“She doesn’t give a damn – “ Hey is this the first actual swearword?

On page, anyway - I believe in GoF it's shown Harry and Ron were cursing lots of swear words at Snape when he insulted Hermione's teeth, but it's something like "foul words". However, I don't think we've heard him swear before, no.



Oh man, how often has Nearly Headless Nick had this conversation with a student? L Or any of the ghosts, really.


That must be the worst.



“And make no mistake, we will hear about it,” added Lupin pleasantly.’ Niceness as a form of war.


This is the Remus I love.

“We’ll have you away from there as soon as we can.” Not if Dumbledore gets there first!
THE END.


Dooo doo dooo do dooo do doo....



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